Court Enthusiast Pillows

"Frankly, I preferred it when tennis was a gentlemen's game."

'It had a happy ending... the guy loses the girl, but finds a good attorney.'

'He followed me home, Mom. Can I sign him to a five-year, $80-million contract?..'

"Obama didn’t get to name a Supreme Court justice during his final year. So how come Trump does?"

I love Lawyers

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

Supreme Court. It's either constitutional or unconstitutional - We don't use a scale of one to ten!

The Predictable Demise of Sir Textalot.

"I've learned something in this trial. My firm needs to hire that prosecutor."

"I object!" "Overruled!"

"This is my client's videotaped deposition—please be considerate and rewind after viewing."

"The prosecution shall stop referring to the defendant as 'the alleged, totally guilty as sin guy'."

"Well, heck! If all you smart cookies agree, who am I to dissent?"

"I've asked you not to overrule me in front of the children."

'The Grand Jury doesn't understand me...'

Sue The Bastards

"In a just world we'd have 'No Lawyer Left Behind'."

The Birth of a Lawsuit

'Don't blame the lawyer!'

"...And the court awards you twenty five thousand for the loss of faculty in your right arm."

'Every day, I'm suing better and better...'

Say what? Johnnie Cochran died in 2005?

'At first it was a few dollars here and a few dollars there. Then I realized I'd have to pay my lawyer.'

RBG, RGB, CMYK

"Give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to sue, and he'll eat for a lifetime."

Criminal Stupidness

'Sorry, but I do not recall that incident either.'

"Not guilty, Your Honor, on the basis of a previously undiagnosed and untreated case of Integrity Deficit Disorder!"

'Great. Another trainee lawyer.'

AMERICAN CIVIL LIBERTIES UNION ACLU, HELP TAKE A BITE OUT OF LAW, 'I like it!'

There's no such thing as "The Fruit Basket Defense." By any chance, are you referring to "The Fruit of the Poisonous Tree"? That's evidence that was obtained by an illegal action and must be considered inadmissible. Yeah! What you said!!!

Judge

"This is a complex matter, we can't keep repeating 'Possession is nine tenths of the law' at the judge."

Truth, Justice, Equality and Public Relations

I love tennis