Clay Court Fanatic Pillows

"All my stuff is still covered in clay from the French Open."

I love Lawyers

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

"And what do you do to maintain your cardiovascular fitness, Miss Holt?"

"I've learned something in this trial. My firm needs to hire that prosecutor."

"I object!" "Overruled!"

"This is my client's videotaped deposition—please be considerate and rewind after viewing."

"The prosecution shall stop referring to the defendant as 'the alleged, totally guilty as sin guy'."

"Getting the ball in the hole on the first swing is good isn't it?"

"Well, heck! If all you smart cookies agree, who am I to dissent?"

"I've asked you not to overrule me in front of the children."

'The Grand Jury doesn't understand me...'

The Birth of a Lawsuit

“Pottery Classes – Give it a Whirl!”

"In a just world we'd have 'No Lawyer Left Behind'."

'Don't blame the lawyer!'

"...And the court awards you twenty five thousand for the loss of faculty in your right arm."

'No,silly-I asked for a sand WEDGE!'

'My client has required the services of countless law enforcement, court, penal and probation personnel. He's not a menace...he's a jobs creator!'

'He followed me home, Mom. Can I sign him to a five-year, $80-million contract?..'

'Every day, I'm suing better and better...'

About the potter.

'At first it was a few dollars here and a few dollars there. Then I realized I'd have to pay my lawyer.'

'Yes, Mr. Osborne, this is an intervention. Your family had no other choice. Golf is an illness...'

"On the weekend I finally beat the club pro...so I don't need you anymore!"

"Give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to sue, and he'll eat for a lifetime."

Criminal Stupidness

"Not guilty, Your Honor, on the basis of a previously undiagnosed and untreated case of Integrity Deficit Disorder!"

'Sorry, but I do not recall that incident either.'

'Great. Another trainee lawyer.'

AMERICAN CIVIL LIBERTIES UNION ACLU, HELP TAKE A BITE OUT OF LAW, 'I like it!'