Courtroom Fanatic Pillows

"Good trial." "Good trial." "Good trial."

"They sentenced me to three days community service instead of four years in juvie. It was extenuating circumstances - my dad is having an affair with the public prosecutor!"

'I'll cut my fee...if you plead guilty and throw yourself on the mercy of the court.'

'We won the battle with the Sue tribe, but we'll be in the courts for years.'

Trial by Media

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

I love Lawyers

"We won!"

Barristers

Sue the Author 3PM

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

"Now that's a win."

"Whoa, don't ask constitutional questions you don't want to know the answers to."

"When it comes to medical malpractice, most lawyers only go for the money... ...I go for the doctor's head."

'I think I'll become a lawyer.'

You don't believe I could be a supreme court justice! You're ruining my self-esteem! F.Y.I? � Whiny tirades don't look good on a supreme court justice's record. Thank you for your candid assessments. I will certainly consider their merits. Fine judicial temperament. And reject them for their shallow insensitivity! Rejection overruled.

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

"Since you have already been convicted by the media, I imagine we can wrap this up pretty quickly."

"Bailiff."

'When you get up on the stand be sure to keep your answers short. A whole lot of barking will only frighten the jury.'

"I've learned something in this trial. My firm needs to hire that prosecutor."

"Now that I've swung back to depression, I'm truly sorry for what I did when I was manic."

"I object!" "Overruled!"

John W. Law., John W. Law Jr., Robert Law, Janet Law, Attorneys at Law

"I felt I could make more of a difference within the system."

'Wow! I never before saw such a strenuous objection.'

"Never mind what I did, Your Honor. I want to be judged for who I am, as an individual."

Prosecution bears the burden of proof. Defense bears the burden of twisting and distorting said proof.

"This is my client's videotaped deposition—please be considerate and rewind after viewing."

"The prosecution shall stop referring to the defendant as 'the alleged, totally guilty as sin guy'."

Yawning barristers in court

"Lights! Camera! Justice!"

'Do you expect the jury to believe that? And, more importantly, do you expect the viewers of the eventual TV movie of this trial to believe it?'

"Well, heck! If all you smart cookies agree, who am I to dissent?"

'We have irreconcilable differences -- he's a MAN!'