Courtroom Aficionados Pillows

'Do I have to enter a plea?'

'Do unto others - but only when you can do it during billable hours.'

"He was a plagiarist. So what if I plagiarized him."

Usher

I love Lawyers

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

"I've learned something in this trial. My firm needs to hire that prosecutor."

John W. Law., John W. Law Jr., Robert Law, Janet Law, Attorneys at Law

"I object!" "Overruled!"

"This is my client's videotaped deposition—please be considerate and rewind after viewing."

Yawning barristers in court

"The prosecution shall stop referring to the defendant as 'the alleged, totally guilty as sin guy'."

"Well, heck! If all you smart cookies agree, who am I to dissent?"

The Birth of a Lawsuit

"Assisting me with this delicate procedure is Dr. Warren. He's one of the top specialists in avoiding malpractice suits."

'The Grand Jury doesn't understand me...'

"I've asked you not to overrule me in front of the children."

"In a just world we'd have 'No Lawyer Left Behind'."

'Don't blame the lawyer!'

"...And the court awards you twenty five thousand for the loss of faculty in your right arm."

'For ever 'no-no' there's a legal 'yes-yes'.'

'Every day, I'm suing better and better...'

'At first it was a few dollars here and a few dollars there. Then I realized I'd have to pay my lawyer.'

"Impartiality becomes you."

Say what? Johnnie Cochran died in 2005?

RBG, RGB, CMYK

"Give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to sue, and he'll eat for a lifetime."

"You don't have to answer that."

"Can you recommend something for the attorney who got me everything?"

Counsel's Opinion.

Criminal Stupidness

"Not guilty, Your Honor, on the basis of a previously undiagnosed and untreated case of Integrity Deficit Disorder!"

'Sorry, but I do not recall that incident either.'

'The Supreme Court found the new law constitutional, but struck it down anyway because it's politically incorrect.'

Judge