Courtroom Enthusiast Pillows

'...They were on the verge of working out the problem themselves.'

"In the interest of streamlining the judicial process, we'll skip the evidence and go directly to sentencing."

"Give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to sue, and he'll eat for a lifetime."

'Great news Roger. The court has finally agreed access rights - you can see your father again!'

"We're taking you out of the clinical trial and putting you in a criminal trial."

Youth Court

'Why do divorces cost so much?' - 'Because they're worth it.'

'For that satisfying sense of inclusion, you can't beat a class action suit.'

'But, Your Honor, I thought absolute power was supposed to be corrupt.'

Court of Appeals: Trial and Errors.

'Don't blame the lawyer!'

'Is there a lawyer in the house?'

Attorney watches in horror as dispute is settled out of court

"Meat cleaver this, meat cleaver that. How am I supposed to get a fair trial if they keep bringing up the meat cleaver?"

'What do you mean, I'm too judgemental?'

"How much justice can you afford?"

"Don't think of it as a conspiracy charge. Think of it as a buddy trial."

"Maybe I'm in the minority here, but aren't we making a fetish out constitutionality?"

"...And the court awards you twenty five thousand for the loss of faculty in your right arm."

"This is a complex matter, we can't keep repeating 'Possession is nine tenths of the law' at the judge."

'Sir, just hand it to the bailiff.'

'This is an exremely grave offence!'

'Instinct is no excuse.'

Truth, Justice, Equality and Public Relations

'You are getting recognition by being named in lawsuits.'

"If my client had to confess to one personal flaw, Your Honor, it would be only to a lack of integrity."

"Your Honor, we feel the trial failed to deliver on its pretrial publicity."

I love Lawyers

'Members of the jury, you have heard the evidence.'

'Justice delayed means more time for billing.'

"The prosecution shall stop referring to the defendant as 'the alleged, totally guilty as sin guy'."

"Your suit is without merit, but I admire the effort."

'I made many bad choices in life... but fortunately not in lawyers.'

'I went to a very special school. You had to be sent there by a judge.'

"Of course I'm good. Look at all of these law books!"