Courtroom Enthusiasts Pillows

"The court is sorry that it raised it's voice, young man!"

Call 1-800-JUSTICE for all your legal needs.

'Since I already know she did it, can I go sit in the lobby and watch TV?'

'Just out of curiosity, do you have a best case scenario?'

'Look, Your Honor -- We're both over-fifty white males, right?'

'Can you fix it? Justice must be seen to be done!'

"Please go easy on my client, Your Honor. He's already suffered enough with all the Twitter shaming,"

'Yes I am sure this isn't another FRIVOLOUS LAWSUIT!'

I love Lawyers

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

"I've learned something in this trial. My firm needs to hire that prosecutor."

John W. Law., John W. Law Jr., Robert Law, Janet Law, Attorneys at Law

"I object!" "Overruled!"

"This is my client's videotaped deposition—please be considerate and rewind after viewing."

Yawning barristers in court

"The prosecution shall stop referring to the defendant as 'the alleged, totally guilty as sin guy'."

"Well, heck! If all you smart cookies agree, who am I to dissent?"

"In a just world we'd have 'No Lawyer Left Behind'."

"Assisting me with this delicate procedure is Dr. Warren. He's one of the top specialists in avoiding malpractice suits."

"I've asked you not to overrule me in front of the children."

'The Grand Jury doesn't understand me...'

The Birth of a Lawsuit

'Don't blame the lawyer!'

"...And the court awards you twenty five thousand for the loss of faculty in your right arm."

"Impartiality becomes you."

'He followed me home, Mom. Can I sign him to a five-year, $80-million contract?..'

'For ever 'no-no' there's a legal 'yes-yes'.'

'At first it was a few dollars here and a few dollars there. Then I realized I'd have to pay my lawyer.'

'Every day, I'm suing better and better...'

"Give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to sue, and he'll eat for a lifetime."

"You don't have to answer that."

"Can you recommend something for the attorney who got me everything?"

Counsel's Opinion.

Criminal Stupidness

'Can Bradley come out and litigate?'