Clay Court Fanatic Gifts

"All my stuff is still covered in clay from the French Open."

I love Lawyers

Pete Sampras

"And what do you do to maintain your cardiovascular fitness, Miss Holt?"

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

"I've learned something in this trial. My firm needs to hire that prosecutor."

"I object!" "Overruled!"

"This is my client's videotaped deposition—please be considerate and rewind after viewing."

"The prosecution shall stop referring to the defendant as 'the alleged, totally guilty as sin guy'."

"Well, heck! If all you smart cookies agree, who am I to dissent?"

"Getting the ball in the hole on the first swing is good isn't it?"

“Pottery Classes – Give it a Whirl!”

"In a just world we'd have 'No Lawyer Left Behind'."

'The Grand Jury doesn't understand me...'

The Birth of a Lawsuit

"I've asked you not to overrule me in front of the children."

'Don't blame the lawyer!'

"...And the court awards you twenty five thousand for the loss of faculty in your right arm."

'No,silly-I asked for a sand WEDGE!'

'My client has required the services of countless law enforcement, court, penal and probation personnel. He's not a menace...he's a jobs creator!'

Say what? Johnnie Cochran died in 2005?

'Every day, I'm suing better and better...'

"On the weekend I finally beat the club pro...so I don't need you anymore!"

'He followed me home, Mom. Can I sign him to a five-year, $80-million contract?..'

'At first it was a few dollars here and a few dollars there. Then I realized I'd have to pay my lawyer.'

'Yes, Mr. Osborne, this is an intervention. Your family had no other choice. Golf is an illness...'

About the potter.

RBG, RGB, CMYK

"Give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to sue, and he'll eat for a lifetime."

Criminal Stupidness

Club House. An eighty dollar green fee! -- I haven't even teed-off yet and I'm already in the hole!

AMERICAN CIVIL LIBERTIES UNION ACLU, HELP TAKE A BITE OUT OF LAW, 'I like it!'

'Sorry, but I do not recall that incident either.'

"Extremely Minature Golf." They're playing golf down there today. A chlorophyll molecule is collecting green fees and some H2O molecules are a water hazard. The adrenaline group seems to have gotten a burst of energy -- They're playing through the slower groups in front of them. I see the electron is good, always a negative score. And the nucleus is a solid player, every shot is hit right down the center. But nobody can match the DNA's consistency --- He's able to perfectly replicate his s

'Great. Another trainee lawyer.'