Climbing Court Enthusiast Gifts

"You may approach the bench again. But this time, no ropes."

"Obama didn’t get to name a Supreme Court justice during his final year. So how come Trump does?"

Indoor Climbing Centre for Cats.

I love Lawyers

"That arrow always goes to the bottom when I walk by."

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

"Look , Malcolm, I get it that you're ambitious. But can't you put that damn thing down just for a minute?"

"I've learned something in this trial. My firm needs to hire that prosecutor."

"I object!" "Overruled!"

"This is my client's videotaped deposition—please be considerate and rewind after viewing."

"The prosecution shall stop referring to the defendant as 'the alleged, totally guilty as sin guy'."

"Well, heck! If all you smart cookies agree, who am I to dissent?"

The Birth of a Lawsuit

"In a just world we'd have 'No Lawyer Left Behind'."

'The Grand Jury doesn't understand me...'

"I've asked you not to overrule me in front of the children."

'Don't blame the lawyer!'

"...And the court awards you twenty five thousand for the loss of faculty in your right arm."

Rubbish and Everest

'At first it was a few dollars here and a few dollars there. Then I realized I'd have to pay my lawyer.'

Childhood

'He followed me home, Mom. Can I sign him to a five-year, $80-million contract?..'

'Every day, I'm suing better and better...'

Say what? Johnnie Cochran died in 2005?

RBG, RGB, CMYK

"Give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to sue, and he'll eat for a lifetime."

Criminal Stupidness

Judge

"It's called being preemptive."

Remember when?... When was that?

"Not guilty, Your Honor, on the basis of a previously undiagnosed and untreated case of Integrity Deficit Disorder!"

'Sorry, but I do not recall that incident either.'

There's no such thing as "The Fruit Basket Defense." By any chance, are you referring to "The Fruit of the Poisonous Tree"? That's evidence that was obtained by an illegal action and must be considered inadmissible. Yeah! What you said!!!

AMERICAN CIVIL LIBERTIES UNION ACLU, HELP TAKE A BITE OUT OF LAW, 'I like it!'

'Great. Another trainee lawyer.'