Practicality Appreciator T-Shirts

"No, yours is more useful, believe me."

Gene Wilder as Willy Wonka

Jarvis Cocker

"Amazon's new A.I. just 'gets' me."

"Of course I'm aware of reality! I mean, we met in St. Thomas, got engaged in Austria, announced it in London and now we're getting married in the Flatbush Jewish Center!"

"...Everyone you meet on the way up, you'll meet again on the way down."

Soldier, Statesman, Travel Agent

"To heck with a husband... just help me find a dependable electrician."

"We should take life one step at a time." "OK, but not right now...there's some dogs do-do right in front of us!"

"This poem was written at a time in my life when I wrote a poem."

"I owe it all to my pacemaker."

In a Quandary

"Some clean room - there's a fly in my potassium nitrate."

"There's always one kid that spoils the class picture."

"With Mindfulness, one may learn to sit through all distractions."

Barristers playing a joke

I think this is the episode of "Leave It to Beaver" where Wally and Eddie chain Lumpy's car to a tree. Couldn

"I was just kidding when I said that thing they sit on is a giant chew toy. I hope you can act cute, because you're in big trouble."

"Fred doesn't take photos. He relives our vacation memories by viewing credit card receipts."

'Well Ma, I guess it's time to update our milking machine.'

"That's Terri and Kip. . . our Imaginators. And over here is Al. He's our Get-real-inator."

"I'm ordering some hot lingerie online...Relax romeo, it's thermal underwear."

'I know it's the thought that counts - what were you thinking?'

'This is the last time I go golfing with a lumberjack.'

"Sure, we hobnobbed, but we never networked."

"Yes, you will get a company car. It'll have a big, blue flashing light on the roof!"

"Please help me get these squirrels out of my pants. This isn't a pickup line. I really need assistance."

"With the cost of heating oil at an all-time high, perhaps you now regret exchanging those sensible Christmas sweaters for the fleeting amusement of toys."

'You didn't read the small print. 'Must be accompanied by both parents...''

'I told you not to lean on the door Ronald!'

Ladies' Sensible Shows: Closing down sale.

Un-Hip-Flask

Rhinoceros playing Bilboquet.

It's not deja vu if you get it every day, Bob.

"Is this the first time you've been on a computer?"