Impractical Task Appreciator T-Shirts

Rhinoceros playing Bilboquet.

'How's everyone doing tonight - that is the question.'

"How do I know this isn't a performance art piece?"

'We've got a special this week on nose hairs!'

She did only twenty-eight of the thirty-two fouetts in the Black Swan pas de deux . . . or are my eyes deceiving me?

"I don't see any mention of quicksand skills on your resume."

"So. Mr Smith, what makes you think you are too controlling?"

'He can toot his own horn but when he starts tooting the government's we need to step in.'

Caption Contest TK

"I got replaced by another clown"

'Today's unwilling nude model is Ralph.'

Flamenco

"I see you like to let your actions do the talking."

Midway through the show, a seamless switch, from air guitar this Celtic air fiddle.

"It's an adjustment being a handshake guy in a fist-bump company."

Aethel the Analyzed.

"And with that being said Polly became dinner." "Polly wanna cracker?" "Polly wanna piece of yo mama's sweet behind." "Oh boy..."

"I really think I can handle this date on my own."

"You're a cow ... not a burgermeister."

"All right now...hold still."

'Arthur loves his new job with the fairground - gets a company car as well.'

"I made a big mistake getting into ladies underwear..."

Colin had heard that women liked honesty in men.

''No, Ma,am', I said. 'I'm not taking anybody's pet pig for a walk in a baby carriage' and then she doubled my salary.'

"Some clean room - there's a fly in my potassium nitrate."

"And make it quick. I need those numbers yesterday – before last night's lottery draw."

"There's always one kid that spoils the class picture."

Everyone thinks they can do it

"I was just kidding when I said that thing they sit on is a giant chew toy. I hope you can act cute, because you're in big trouble."

'He's not a normal human cannonball-he's heat seeking...'

"I don't know a damn thing about art, but my back hasn't felt this good in years."

Barristers playing a joke

'When I asked for a bottle of house red...'