Pr Officer Pillows

"No comment for now, but there'll be a press leak at five."

'The candidate doesn't like how he's being packaged!'

Get me my PR officer. I forget which constituency he's MP for.

'How fast can you hype?'

News: Deaths! Deaths! Deaths!

Apart from your mother, who else thinks you're doing a good job as Chairman of the company?

'I've decided to step down as your CEO in order to spend more time in jail...'

"National security adviser"

'Fred, I want you to sanitize this, punch it up, dumb it down, leak it to the media and then be fully prepared to deny it!'

Library - Political Science section - 'What to do until the spin doctor comes'

Target your customer.

"I was going to have my people call his people, but I’m pretty sure his people have Caller I.D."

"I go that extra mile!"

Information...political rhetoric

'This one is for keeping 'On Message' in the spin wars.'

You can fool some of the people all of the time - "Send in some of the people, Dorothy."

Newspaper suicide.

"Allow me to respond to your question with a question of my own that I can answer."

'This merger will cut jobs 40%, reduce salaries 30% and increase the work hours 25%. Your job is to make this look like the best thing that ever happened to our employees.'

'I feel confident about our presentation. If there is any blowback, don't worry. We're both wearing our flak jackets under our suits.'

"You realize, of course, that I'll have to make a big show of having security escort you out."

'Floppo' lottery rebranding

"Here are today's leading factoids, and I'm Skip Shumaker, spoon-feeding them to you!"

'Mr. President, I have a question, where's the mens' room?'

Free press.

'How fast can you hype?'

Freedom of the Press

UBLIC RELATIONS IN CASE OF EMERGENCY BREAK GLASS

"Your press kit said you were lots of fun."

'That's the new guy. He writes our 'shuck-and-jive' press releases.'

'Get me public relations!'

Advertising and PR Agency: 'I'm able to spin at 60 words per minute, hype at 50 words and distort at 45 words.'

"There will be a Q&A...but in this era of Trump I will be insulting anyone whose questions I don't like."

'We're losing the mid-morning market. Let's put a hamburger in a glazed donut and call it brunch.'

"I hear you've got quite a reputation with the girls around the office."