Public Relations Officer Pillows

'I've decided to step down as your CEO in order to spend more time in jail...'

'This is strictly off the record...'

"That's a crazy idea but it might work."

Information and Still don't get it.

Barbara Bush has a 'Marie Antoinette' moment.

'I feel confident about our presentation. If there is any blowback, don't worry. We're both wearing our flak jackets under our suits.'

A catch-22, he thought. Not in the traditional sense, but in this job you learn to go with your gut. Even if your gut's an idiot.

'Do you want to watch the, 'everything's terrible' cable news or the 'everything's wonderful' cable news?'

"And today in Washington a top Administration apologist issued an apology."

"I've finished the press statement about the kraken."

Rumor Control Center: Chicken Little.

'This is an amicable split. Coach O'Neill has done a great job. We just have different ideas...'

'Issue a non-denial denial.'

'When I said I was going to resign my contract, I meant re-sign my contract for another five years!'

'Mr. President, I have a question, where's the mens' room?'

Last chance for public relations next exit...next PR- 87 miles

'Once you're over the Alps you're going to need a marketing director.'

'Welcome! Highly placed, unidentified administration spokespersons convention.'

"And this was the day our Marketing and Public Relations people finally exhausted their supply of 'come-from-behind-and-win-it-all' sports metaphors!"

"He's the pastor's press secretary."

"A huge breakthrough from our research and development team. . . they've figure out a way to fool all of the people all of the time!"

"Allow me to respond to your question with a question of my own that I can answer."

"The candidate's ego burst."

Metropolitan Police - Refuse Collection Area

"National security adviser"

'The Big Society is Nothing to do with replacing a reduced voluntary sector...now try that again, without laughing.'

Miss Foster, get me my PR man!

'We're out of duct tape.'

Alistair Campbell "He slept like a top, Thank you"

'...and if your recognition factor begins to slip, sirens will go off in seven critical media centers.'

'This next part is important. Can you say, ‘putting people before profits' - three times fast - without laughing?'

'That's a very good question - Are you trying to make trouble?'

'We can say we're a greener company since we're making our toxic sludge green.'

"Social service teams are claiming that they can't recruit workers because of the vicious, biased reports we write about them!"

The Media Awards Season Mixer