Pr Officer Prints

"No comment for now, but there'll be a press leak at five."

'The candidate doesn't like how he's being packaged!'

Get me my PR officer. I forget which constituency he's MP for.

'How fast can you hype?'

Apart from your mother, who else thinks you're doing a good job as Chairman of the company?

News: Deaths! Deaths! Deaths!

'I've decided to step down as your CEO in order to spend more time in jail...'

"National security adviser"

'Fred, I want you to sanitize this, punch it up, dumb it down, leak it to the media and then be fully prepared to deny it!'

Library - Political Science section - 'What to do until the spin doctor comes'

There's a crew here from 60 minutes and they're coming this way.

Target your customer.

"I was going to have my people call his people, but I’m pretty sure his people have Caller I.D."

Information...political rhetoric

"I go that extra mile!"

'This one is for keeping 'On Message' in the spin wars.'

You can fool some of the people all of the time - "Send in some of the people, Dorothy."

"Allow me to respond to your question with a question of my own that I can answer."

Moses Today. Due to the sensitive nature of this matter, my source wishes to remain anonymous.

"Commandments aren't really selling these days. However, we're willing to consider self-help tips or personal improvement ideas."

Newspaper suicide.

'This merger will cut jobs 40%, reduce salaries 30% and increase the work hours 25%. Your job is to make this look like the best thing that ever happened to our employees.'

"You realize, of course, that I'll have to make a big show of having security escort you out."

'Floppo' lottery rebranding

"Here are today's leading factoids, and I'm Skip Shumaker, spoon-feeding them to you!"

'I feel confident about our presentation. If there is any blowback, don't worry. We're both wearing our flak jackets under our suits.'

Free press.

'Mr. President, I have a question, where's the mens' room?'

'How fast can you hype?'

"Your press kit said you were lots of fun."

Freedom of the Press

UBLIC RELATIONS IN CASE OF EMERGENCY BREAK GLASS

'That's the new guy. He writes our 'shuck-and-jive' press releases.'

'Get me public relations!'

Advertising and PR Agency: 'I'm able to spin at 60 words per minute, hype at 50 words and distort at 45 words.'