Powder Prowler Gifts

"I don't think your newfound fear of skiing is irrational."

Ernie Studios. Hi, Ernie. What movies are you working on? We have a script about astronauts marooned on a planet filed with talking gorillas who are in hard economic times. I think I'll call it "The Apes of Wrath"! We're casting "Reignman." The central character is a savant monarch. And we're filming a movie about a suburban town populated by women with strange, long hair ... It's called "The Stepford Weaves."

'I ask her to make up her mind. So she powders her forehead.'

'Next on 'evening shouting match'...is it a bull or bear market?'

Skier flying past mountains

"Times are perfect for us masochists!..."

Greek in gallery with Greek statues

Skier leaves his skis behind.

"Whoa. How deep is that powder?" "You'll have to ask my wife. I'm standing on her shoulders."

'Good! And now - by simply shifting your weight - begin to carve a wide, slow turn across the slope.'

'He's not hurt. He's just really, really cold.'

Skiers rolling down slope in snow

Skis and ski poles poking out of the snow.

"Walter didn't catch any fish today, but I managed to finish two sweaters."

"Why are you cancelling your trip to Switzerland?"

"How's that for your 'corporate response?'"

Bunny Slope

Hunter shooting @ symbols.

'Now where did I put my knitting needles?'

"Albert was happy. He hadn't caught corona on his ski vacation nor had he broken any bones."

'Here it comes.'

Ski cannon.

"Here we are in Jackson Hole and our luggage went to Hawaii!"

Balls of wool

A smiling woman wearing boxing gloves

"Listen. I've got to be honest here. I'm not actually a proper pigeon."

'Yup, I think mine are broke too.'

"Doctor, don't you have a conflict of interest by owning a ski resort?"

'Every dog has his day - But the nights belong to us.'

Skiing Speed Limit

Skiers

I love snowboarding!

"Well, if that's your only concern, I suggest you simply make an offer conditional upon the removal of all monsters."

Ski Toilets

R.I.P. I'd rather be skiing.