Poultry Provocateur Gifts

Hen throws an egg and the picture turns to daytime.

The writers group met every Tuesday for support and fellowship.

A man at a cocktail party wears a nametag that reads "Trouble".

Woman keeping a chicken in her room for fresh eggs

"O.K., one last big rhubarb score. But then I'm out of the pie game for good."

"Damn! Someone just asked for chicken drumsticks."

'This is taking too long - we'll have to induce hatching.'

The Nervous Gourmet:Low-Risk Chicken

'With proper flossing there's no reason for hens to not have teeth.'

"Sherlock Combs there said he believes it's an inside job."

Chicken Funeral Planning.

"Mum, what is a nugget?"

"How was I supposed to know she was allergic?"

'Don't worry, I would never tell the other free range chickens you're agoraphobic.'

"Don't be fooled - that's Henrietta, cross-dressing again."

Maternity ward on the farm.

'We need more cake shows!'

"Cooky was askin' about you again."

"The body is eighty-two-per-cent broth."

'Macaroni and cheese, three nights in a row?... That's justifiable homicide in my book!'

'And you, William Elwood Hoonavogel, are you willing to give up your free range status?'

'It might be a satanic cult: Not only did they chop his head off, they're stuffing his body with bread now...'

'Well Mrs. Henson, form the looks of this place, egg stacking, children claw marks, chicken blood graffiti, egg splat everywhere, I'd have to say this is the work of a poultry geist!'

Brenda lost not only the egg toss, but something much, much more.

'We don't have pressed duck, but we could shove around a chicken for you.'

'And stop making that stupid clucking sound'

Turkey tries using a trick t-shirt to avoid being selected for dinner.

"Be honest Walter...Is it me you really love or just the farm-fresh eggs every morning?"

"Why are you giving them whiskey?"

"We can't break the laws of nature, the workers can only lay a maximum of one egg a day: To increase production, you need to recruit..."

"I keep forgetting. When do I cluck and when do I double-cluck?"

"The second I turn 16 I'm joining a conservative political party and then I'll be able to do whatever I want!"

"Our scientists may have discovered that we once had extra body parts."

"What a traitor! It is supposed to be a well-guarded secret covered by a non-disclosure agreement..."

'He specializes in chicken dishes.'