Poultry Perplexity Gifts

'Farm Fool'

'Oh, it's a long, long time...From here to November...'

"At $4 a dozen, it's hard to balance a career and a family."

Chicken Little was correct about something falling, unfortunately, it was an axe, and not the sky.

"Don't be so dramatic. You tell me you're pregnant every day?"

Lady taking her Cochin chickens for a walk.

"Actually, it wasn't so bad. One minute I was standing in line at the slaughterhouse...The next thing I knew, I was being basted in my own juices..."

A classic example of Poultry in Motion.

'Honey, the babysitter's here.'

'Hello, Ebeneezer! It's me - the ghost of coming dinner!'

'I don't think we should have any more eggs Chester. Maybe you should see the vet about having your chicken nuggets removed.'

'How do you prepare your chicken?' 'We just tell 'em they're gonna die.'

Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken replies: 'I'm free-range pal, I can go where I like.'

Chicken Funeral Planning.

"No one can afford to eat us anymore."

"Sherlock Combs there said he believes it's an inside job."

'When they start calling you a splendid bird, you know you're in trouble.'

"Gesundtheit, Dear."

The Colonel at home.

Chicken Crime Scene.

"I have a sweet pad and thirteen girlfriends. Can't beat a chicken's life."

Norman's decision to raise chickens first in the back yard, then the front yard and eventually the living room would cause great dismay the day his car keys went missing.

Fee Range Chickens

'I've got laryngitis. Would you mind cackling for me while I lay an egg?'

Chicken

Liberty

"Yes, there will be questions but you're unquestionably the nation's most badass mom."

'Ok, you wanted to go free range. . . what now?'

"Don't pull that ditzy-chick, routine with me! A witness saw you cross the road, what I want to know is. . . why?"

"Let's just agree to disagree." "I suggested that first!"

'Remember, son. A winner is one who can keep his head while all around him are losing theirs.'

"Who's next?"

'I guess this means it's over between us.'

Knock-knock 'Who's there?'

"And as the hand reached in the coop a voice whispered; 'you've got to break a few eggs to make an omelette'!"