Pothole Vigilante Gifts

'How bad can hell be? At least the road to there is paved!'

"This is a neighbourhood vigilante area."

"Because when you go first nobody else has any fun, that's why."

"Hey, that's disgusting! You can't leave that on the footpath: Make sure your master comes and picks it up!"

'... and bless all of God's creatures with the possible exception of the greenfly...'

'Well, Mr. 'I don't need any sunblock', what have you got to say for yourself now?'

"Don't you think you're taking this whole, 'neighbourhood watch' thing a little too serious, dear?"

"Beware of God"

A car's soul escapes as it expires at the meter.

Welcome to Elmville "Home of the world's biggest pothole." The mayor sure knows how to make the best of a bad situation!

I've got to monitor all chatter in the cafe to prevent future pastry thefts. I don't know … What if you've got a scone thief for a neighbor, or a friend, or even a family member? Sure, today it's just a scone. But the next attack could be huge – the big one! You don't mean … Hoagie. They're trying to destroy our whole way of life.

"Stocks closed higher on news that despite market volatility, Edgar Freund, just an average investor from Petoskey, Michigan, decided not to sell anything."

"Walter had an attack of road rage in the driveway."

'I normally don't ride a dirt bike, but my motorcycle doesn't do well on potholes.'

'There's a gleam in his eye!'

Solution to chuckholes...and have fun, too!

"Dad, can we go for a ride in the car? All the potholes makes it seem like I'm on a fun carnival ride."

Spring Damage.

Business cartoon of video camera spying on 'anonymous tips' box.

'Since you're new here, let me give you a tip: Never, EVER, look under the chairs!'

Honey, I'm stuck in another pot-hole!

'I thought putting it up there would deter ordinary folk from using it.' (Disabled Parking Space).

"Neighborhood Watch anti-violence meeting. Be there or else."

Bumps in the road.

'My costume is scary data ... get it?'

'Installing 6 foot spikes to stop cars from tailgating me.'

Speed Limit 10 MPH. Enforced by Potholes.

Traffic avenger

What a hypochondriac --- He's always turning on his "check engine" light!

'Steve hates getting ticks.'

'I'm moving your desk up here on the roof. That way you can keep an eye on my Cadillac in the parking lot.'

"I don't prey on the old, sick, or lame, I prey on the healthy who park in the handicapped spots."

'Before we closed the street and put up lights, it was a pothole.'

"Don't be silly, the one at the back is a sinkhole, all the rest are potholes."

Find the idiot who keeps parking in my spot. Reserved for God.