Parking Space Vigilante Gifts

There's always some jerk taking up two parking spots.

Find the idiot who keeps parking in my spot. Reserved for God.

"Because when you go first nobody else has any fun, that's why."

"Hey, that's disgusting! You can't leave that on the footpath: Make sure your master comes and picks it up!"

'I didn't get the salary increase, but I've been moved one parking space closer to the entrance.'

A car's soul escapes as it expires at the meter.

"I hate when a parking spot in the city opens up."

I've got to monitor all chatter in the cafe to prevent future pastry thefts. I don't know … What if you've got a scone thief for a neighbor, or a friend, or even a family member? Sure, today it's just a scone. But the next attack could be huge – the big one! You don't mean … Hoagie. They're trying to destroy our whole way of life.

The new electronic system is efficient, but the garage had to sacrifice parking spaces for it.

"Stocks closed higher on news that despite market volatility, Edgar Freund, just an average investor from Petoskey, Michigan, decided not to sell anything."

"Walter had an attack of road rage in the driveway."

"Not only is it a planet the same size as earth but is has plenty of parking."

Priest gives the last rites to an expired metre.

'I hope it's a quick knockout, I'm double parked.'

'I thought putting it up there would deter ordinary folk from using it.' (Disabled Parking Space).

'Installing 6 foot spikes to stop cars from tailgating me.'

"OK then smartypants, if the universe is expanding, how come I still can't find a parking space?"

'You turned our front yard into a what?!'

'How bad can hell be? At least the road to there is paved!'

"I was merely signifying - don't give me two tickets."

Traffic avenger

What a hypochondriac --- He's always turning on his "check engine" light!

'I'm moving your desk up here on the roof. That way you can keep an eye on my Cadillac in the parking lot.'

"I don't prey on the old, sick, or lame, I prey on the healthy who park in the handicapped spots."

Rail UnFare Rise

'I'd better go, Maggie - I don't want to get a parking ticket.'

'I just stuck my sign up. I don't know from where all the cars came.'

'Everyday you park your car right next to my motorcycle. Rocco is here to make sure that no longer happens.'

"Of course I don't need a Doctor, I'm saving this parking space"

"I'm gonna stomp all over your face."

Man Uses 'Disabled' Parking Space

Taking the handicapped spot.