Potato Patroller Gifts

'Must you have chips with everything Sir Francis.'

We need a new eco project. Ok. Let's get locally grown food into the school cafeteria. What's our strategy? We can start with the potatoes. I'll make the poster. We want home fries.

Night of the Latkes

'But Mom, I like potatoes in their jackets.'

"Here's something called "The Fifty Greatest Countdown Shows Ever!""

Please buzz off. That's my flower!

Gramma's Tators & Gravy...All You Can Eat!

"Can you turn these mashed potatoes into french fries?"

Stupid Microwave

"There's got to be a better way to raise potatoes!"

"When Ed suggested 5 potato, 6 potato, 7 potato more, I suggested a vasectomy."

"The chef ran out of the shiitake-infused sweet potato au gratin, so he substituted hash browns."

Couch Potatoes

"I just explained 'kugel' to him."

"I made him out of my mom's mashed potatoes. Since there's no snow, I had to improvise."

"We're actually going to grow potatoes on Mars!"

I knew from the starch we were a perfect mash.

'Peel, Spot! Peel!'

"If you're ever granted three wishes, don't blow them all on a giant body with tiny arms legs."

"Just pick one!! We're already late!!"

"You have such beautiful eyes."

'Sleep tight - don't let the bedbugs bite!'

'Potatoes. How many would I need to make a bottle of vodka?'

"You forgot to adjust your hilling discs again, didn't you?"

The Hypnotato,

'We haven't been seeing eye-to-eye lately.'

"Are you sure this is the Irish guacamole?"

Spud dating.

Mash-test Dummies.

Spudhenge

Kim Jong Un returns triumphant from his meeting with Putin - holds aloft a single potato.

Spud U Like/Spud U Don't Like.

'These new ideas are silly, Father, the boiled tobacco tasted awful and you've spent an age trying to light that potato.'

Mr. Tater Tot

Prize Winning Potato - Champion Chips