Potato Chip Addict Pillows

'I know what's bugging you - that other bag of crisps in the bread bin, isn't it?'

'But Mom, I like potatoes in their jackets.'

'I met him on a Monday and my heart stood still (would you believe?)')

"Hmm...I LOVE chocolate chip ice cream...!"

Gramma's Tators & Gravy...All You Can Eat!

'I was hoping for a better bonus this year.'

Stupid Microwave

"When Ed suggested 5 potato, 6 potato, 7 potato more, I suggested a vasectomy."

"The chef ran out of the shiitake-infused sweet potato au gratin, so he substituted hash browns."

Couch Potatoes

"I just explained 'kugel' to him."

"We're actually going to grow potatoes on Mars!"

Italian Style Fish 'n' Chips

'Peel, Spot! Peel!'

"Alexa, tell me ways I can be less of a lazy slob who won't get up to turn off the lights."

Let's have the cod. It'll be extinct soon.

"If you're ever granted three wishes, don't blow them all on a giant body with tiny arms legs."

I knew from the starch we were a perfect mash.

"You have such beautiful eyes."

'Potatoes. How many would I need to make a bottle of vodka?'

"Are you sure this is the Irish guacamole?"

"The doctor wants me to exercise more, so I need you to lift my feet even more when you're not vacuuming."

"Bird of paradise, my ass."

The Hypnotato,

"High sodium, high cholesterol, lots of toxins - your blood test is remarkably similar to cheap potato chips."

Mash-test Dummies.

Sale - Eyepod.

"We're watching your side of the room with growing fascination."

'Heel! HEEL! Bad potato!'

Prize Winning Potato - Champion Chips

Your Dinner Is In The Potato Skin

Kim Jong Un returns triumphant from his meeting with Putin - holds aloft a single potato.

'These new ideas are silly, Father, the boiled tobacco tasted awful and you've spent an age trying to light that potato.'

"What's on the Bear Channel?"

Potato Famine (somebody didn't make enough mashed potatoes)