Potato Chip Lover Pillows

"High sodium, high cholesterol, lots of toxins - your blood test is remarkably similar to cheap potato chips."

"Wow. He really was all that and a bag of chips!"

"Nice abs!"

"It's an update from the people tracking us. According to this, we haven't gone anywhere or done anything."

"Honey, do these sweatpants make me look like I prefer we stay in tonight so I can watch the game?"

'But Mom, I like potatoes in their jackets.'

American Idle.

"I swapped my 'couch to 5k' training app for a '5k to couch' one!"

'I met him on a Monday and my heart stood still (would you believe?)')

'Have you seen me?' (Brain missing in TV viewer)

Gramma's Tators & Gravy...All You Can Eat!

"Hmm...I LOVE chocolate chip ice cream...!"

"Can you turn these mashed potatoes into french fries?"

'I was hoping for a better bonus this year.'

Homo Zapiens

Unconditional Loveseat

'Where does the teacher get this? Wilbur shows no motivation in class!'

Stupid Microwave

"When Ed suggested 5 potato, 6 potato, 7 potato more, I suggested a vasectomy."

"The chef ran out of the shiitake-infused sweet potato au gratin, so he substituted hash browns."

Couch Potatoes

'My husband likes to have everything handy during TV commercials.'

"I've decided to uninstall your personality and upload mine."

Italian Style Fish 'n' Chips

'Whatever, crosswords are stupid.'

"I just explained 'kugel' to him."

"We're actually going to grow potatoes on Mars!"

"This lockdown is GREAT! - We can spend all day on our computers, eating takeaway junk food and watching crap TV while gambling on our iphones!"

'I'm not lazy - just resting before I get tired...'

"In da house"

Working from Home.

"Let's see what's going on in the world."

"Mom wants us to spend 'Quality time' together, so don't blame me."

"Sometimes I wonder if it was worth all the trouble you went through to get yourself cloned."

I knew from the starch we were a perfect mash.