Postgraduate Life Gifts

"Grape juice that went to graduate school."

'I have this fear of the real world...'

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

"You're going to have to submit to peer review eventually, Bradshaw!"

'Our admission policy is now simplicity itself. If you have the tuition, you're in.'

Postgraduates A group of posts on their way to class.

'Desert island cartoons - and you?'

"Make a lot of money."

Molecules You Ought to be Aware of.

'I've already been recruited by one of the top fast-food chains in the country!'

Math Major Pennants. ISOSCELES. SCALENE EQUILATERAL.

"I know this is not a proper job for a PhD, Mom, but I have student loans to repay."

A boy is sat at a desk, with five plaques implying different qualifications he has earned from using social media.

Need Supercomputer to finish my PhD, Please Help.

Good Luck!

"Sorry, kid. No off-campus drinking until you're twenty-one."

My belief is if you're old enough to take texts, counter-texts, and meta-texts in Western Philosophy, you should be old enough to drink.

'A depressing thought just came over me. Now we'll have to go out and get a job!'

"I'd like to thank my parents and my creditors for making this possible."

'I'm majoring in communication and minoring in pizza delivery - What about you?'

"Philosophy Department. Why may I direct your call?"

'So what are you studying, young man?'

Thank you for not doing research that has already been done.

"Academic freedom doesn't mean you're free not to study."

'The Great Depression? Didn't they have Prozac then?'

"Political Science... that's in the Department of Performing Arts."

'I like the history professor but I think he's mired in the past.'

'It's time to move out when Mom says...'

Congratulations, and thanks for the $86,000... Congratulations, and thanks for the $86,000...

'I still want to be a cowboy.'

"Professor, we need you to stop. The Student Union has decided that the earth is flat."

'Unemployed math grad. Will solve quadratic equations for food."

'I'm afraid that the top investment banks are looking for more from job applicants than a 'Top Degree from the University of Hard Knocks'.'

"Remember, education pays, unless you end up an adjunct - like me."

University Cafeteria. The first semester of college is tough. I'm not taking geography because I couldn't find the classroom on the map. I'm way behind on my archeology assignments. I'm buried and need to dig my way out. And everybody in political science lies and cheats to get ahead. How are you doing in statistics? I think I'm doing very well! My test scores are hugely below the class median. I should probably learn what that means.