Graduate Student Gifts

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

'It's time to move out when Mom says...'

'You're kidding... I've got a masters in philosophy too!'

Molecules You Ought to be Aware of.

'Tell me. Did the 253 internships come before or after the Ph.D in English?'

'Unemployed math grad. Will solve quadratic equations for food."

"Oh, and I might add that your political rants are being filmed for post-grad ridicule and possible YouTube postings."

'A PhD in baton passing goes to...'

Summa Cum Laude Graduate. Overqualified for every job I applied for.

Tunnel of I Like You but I'm just really busy right now with grad school and stuff.

"Where am I going to find the perfect thesis topic that hasn't been on TikTok already?"

"I buried my doctoral thesis in an unmarked grave. . . because, ultimately, you never know."

Academia Can Kill By Degrees

Postgraduates A group of posts on their way to class.

'I wasted a lot of time in graduate school to get this job.'

'Ann, you're the best graduate student I have, so I'm going to blame some faulty research on you.'

'You're in Graduate School now. I think it's high time I stopped doing your home work.'

Welcome to the "Ask Sadie" radio hour. You're on, Kenosha. What's your problem?! I'm a grad student pursuing my PhD. in robotics. Under the recent tax plan that passed the House, I'd have to count my tuition waiver as income, even though I never received any actual money. This would put me in a higher tax bracket and I'd have to drop out because I could never afford to pay those taxes. Good riddance, Poindexter. Science is nothing but gobbledygook anyway. Studies have shown that's not the case.

"How many more years of graduate school support do you need, son?"

Where your mind & battle are los

Adult Courses. It's so hard keeping the information from different classes separate! I'm talking film history and psychology. I failed a test because I said a "psychopath" is the walkway Norman Bates took home. I also confused geography and aeronautics. I said the "great plains" are located at an Air Force testing base in the California desert. My worst nightmare was confusing the thinks ti learned in driver's education and statistics. But at least I now know it's driving where you must st

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

Computer Room.

'C'mon get it straight.'

'When I grow up, I want to be a hydraulic engineer...'

Big Bang Theory.

"Would you like me to annotate that for you?"

"E=MC² Energy=Milk·Coffee²"

'My reading comprehension is so-so, but I do make up for it with my highlighting skills.'

Eternal Student.

Wally Begins research for his thesis entitled "who's a good dog?"

US Immigration and Naturalization Service: If you're yearning to breath free...Get Out.

"Studies show that children of immigrants are more likely to to take advanced math and science courses and more likely to take advanced placement tests in preparation for college."

"You're going to have to submit to peer review eventually, Bradshaw!"