Post Office Pundit Gifts

'Hand over the money! I got a loaded dog!'

"I think we should try something a little simpler."

"I think you'll like this idea-it's sort of 'dull' meets 'inoffensive.' "

Giant merger.

Sub Post Office/Sub-Justice

"Take the severance package, Hayward. The rest of the board wanted a ritual slaying."

"Yeah? Well, tell him that in this company Gandhi-like resistance wouldn't have worked for Gandhi, either."

"I wouldn't mind, but I only topped the bloomin' thing up last week!"

'Ed' 'Op-ed'

'Be careful opening this...it's marked dangerous goods.'

Bunny express,

"Frankly I was expecting something a bit more sophisticated..."

Owning your mistakes at work shows that you hold yourself accountable, and builds trust and credibility.

"Technically, when the manufacturer wants your car back, it's a recall. When the bank does it, it's a repossession."

'With the threat of ABS's competing for Council work is going to get even harder...'

Insufficient Postage

'Correction,Dear- it's OUR newspaper!'

'Gentlemen, I have evidence that one of us is a spy.'

Postman frying a parcel marked 'handle like eggs'.

What If?

'I think the only reason my job hasn't been outsourced is because nobody knows what I do around here.'

Tortoise Mailman.

'Disgusting! If I had any idea who sent this one, I'd...'

"We don't need proof of each delivery."

The muse for letters to the editor.

'It did say on the parcel, 'please do not bend'!'

"Had another of those lectures from HR about 'so-called' diversity."

'You need to stop employees flushing money down the toilet!'

'Sit up straight and fix your hair mister...'

"....Sir, it's not out problem if you live at the wrong address!"

'An insured package? Certainly, sir -- just sign this waiver.'

Louis Battye.

"Today our panel will be discussing the distinguishing characteristics between the UPS and FedEx truck, and the appropriate corresponding overreaction."

'I have a complaint about one of your window clerks.'

"Let me tell you, Kittles, after a hard day's work there's nothing I like better than to sit in my favorite chair, eat leftover Chinese food, grade 72 math tests and read 50 English papers."