Office Politics Pundit Gifts

"Frankly I was expecting something a bit more sophisticated..."

Owning your mistakes at work shows that you hold yourself accountable, and builds trust and credibility.

"Yeah? Well, tell him that in this company Gandhi-like resistance wouldn't have worked for Gandhi, either."

What If?

'Sit up straight and fix your hair mister...'

"Had another of those lectures from HR about 'so-called' diversity."

'Disgusting! If I had any idea who sent this one, I'd...'

'But, Jones. 'Jerk' is not a title.'

"I think we should try something a little simpler."

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

"Oh, I'll be bi-partisan alright, punishing both sides of the aisle."

Hate Platforms

In the Guru District

They're Not Just That Into It

"I'm expert at sniffing out blame."

'Can't they just switch to smaller barrels?'

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

"We can waste time and look for a solution or...just find a scapegoat?"

News and Magazines. Celebrity gossip. Sports scandals. Political bickering. We're out of the "information age" and well into the "too much information age"!

"You may have been the victim of a mis-sold PFI contract."

CEO du Jour

Difference of Opinion

"We're suing you under equal opportunities legislation for failure to represent our rights"

'Thank heavens! For a minute there I thought it was the news!'

"Mom, I'm bored. Do you know something I can get hysterical and panicky about?"

"Basically, your new job here at the Treasury Department implementing the bailout is simple, Grayson, just grab and armful of money and run..."

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

Where does it all end up?

'I look forward to a bigger and bolder vision in my 2nd term.'

"Whoever made Keir Starmer did a sound professional job."

Library - Political Science section - 'What to do until the spin doctor comes'

'The massive arrests have made the plans for downsizing much easier.'

'I'm afraid the cuts are beginning to bite!'

"That's not a knife crime initiative. That's a knife crime initiative!"

New company policy...next time you miss a meeting I need a note from a doctor or a subpoena from a judge.