Portion Size Critic T-Shirts

"Did in everyone! There's enough for us all to share!"

'What I like best about a magnum of Champagne is, it's a controlled portion.'

"We've misjudged the tapas again."

"You know why they make these straws so big? It's a scam to make you drink fast so you can finish quicker and order more."

All-Day Breakfast

Looking at belt - "One more notch, room for desert."

'I think my diet is finally working. went form a large to an extra medium.'

"They should have quit after deep dish."

"We've gone 'Glutton-Free'."

"I'm on a diet. Mini-size it!"

"Please be advised that our new chef's policy is that you're not allowed to leave until you've finished all the food on your plate."

"Would you like any suburbs, or just the check?"

'How would you like your steak, sir?' - 'Big.'

'...And when it registers over 140 pounds, it automatically triggers the refrigerator lock.'

"I'm Roberto, and I'll be your waiter this evening. This is Carl. He's in charge of portion control."

Go large or go home!

'I'll pay double for half as much.'

"You asked me to keep a food diary, this is last week's!"

"I'm glad you enjoyed your meal, Sir. Did you save some room for shame?"

"I don't know why I put weight on, I hardly eat enough to keep a sparrow alive."

"Who had the Lumberjack fruit cup?"

"Just one menu for us, please. We don't want to overeat."

'To help me stay on my diet, I've hired a portion control officer.'

"It's only 5 calories a serving...but a serving is a crumb."

Brownie Size/Okay to Eat

'What do you mean, microbiotic?' 'Very small portions.'

"It's not just compared to the table, damn it. This is a small portion."

'You are what you eat!'

'The food is disgusting.' 'And such small portions.'

'This food is revolting. And such small portions.'

The Dinner Builiding

'Our diets are based on out unique 'portion management system'. Basically we ship your portions to Albuquerque so you can't get at them!'

'The 'Junior-Executive Lunch' comes with a larger dessert!'