Porcelain Protector Gifts

"The house is filled with expensive porcelain figurines, so I can't knock anything over! It is so stressful..."

"Careful with that - the wife made it at pottery class."

'That'll teach the pesky python to be greedy and eat all my chickens!'

Glass and Porcelain Store: Elephants must remain outside.

'I just finished the floors, so they better stay clean!'

"Sorry kid, I work alone."

'...and now, Doctor, if you have satisfactorily disinfected your hands,...

'I'm sorry young lady, but you're not old enough to be free range!'

"Can i get a transfer from the porcupine enclosure..?

'I think this is where our fish pond was.'

"Ralphie, no! Not on my Kindle!"

Artisanal Pottery

'She thinks of them as her children...'

'Be careful, I hear he kills cats.'

"This one I feel like protecting, the others I don't."

'Before you buy the gun can I ask if you thought about taking your cat to the vets first?'

The Conservative Party attempting to save the Church from the Liberals

"Hey, that's your personal pan pizza. NO SHARING!"

'Since taking the job at the China Shop, I've been very stressed: I have to watch myself all the time...'

'Jeckers, when I was a student we commonly at poultry...

"At least we don't have to worry about intruders now we have a dog."

"We're not getting a dog because I don't invest in non-profit ventures."

"Even more dangerous than crossing the road is being undercooked."

'Sorry, my dog says no landlords allowed!'

'Drop the can opener!'

Rabbits $5.

"Have they no shame?"

"Hon, I'm worried. She's been out there somewhere for 3 hours."

"He can't bear working on yellow teeth."

"You don't want me. I've got bird flu!"

Finance Company.

'Pasta imposter' "Oi! You're not vermicelli, you're cheese string..bugger off!!"

"You may be more familiar with her maiden name, Kelly, Grace Kelly."

Rescuing the Fish in the Flood

Don