Porcelain Protector Pillows

"The house is filled with expensive porcelain figurines, so I can't knock anything over! It is so stressful..."

"Careful with that - the wife made it at pottery class."

'That'll teach the pesky python to be greedy and eat all my chickens!'

Glass and Porcelain Store: Elephants must remain outside.

'I just finished the floors, so they better stay clean!'

"Sorry kid, I work alone."

'...and now, Doctor, if you have satisfactorily disinfected your hands,...

'I'm sorry young lady, but you're not old enough to be free range!'

I've got to monitor all chatter in the cafe to prevent future pastry thefts. I don't know … What if you've got a scone thief for a neighbor, or a friend, or even a family member? Sure, today it's just a scone. But the next attack could be huge – the big one! You don't mean … Hoagie. They're trying to destroy our whole way of life.

'Be careful, I hear he kills cats.'

Artisanal Pottery

'Before you buy the gun can I ask if you thought about taking your cat to the vets first?'

'I think this is where our fish pond was.'

"Ralphie, no! Not on my Kindle!"

"This one I feel like protecting, the others I don't."

'She thinks of them as her children...'

"Can i get a transfer from the porcupine enclosure..?

'Jeckers, when I was a student we commonly at poultry...

The Conservative Party attempting to save the Church from the Liberals

"We're not getting a dog because I don't invest in non-profit ventures."

"Hey, that's your personal pan pizza. NO SHARING!"

'Since taking the job at the China Shop, I've been very stressed: I have to watch myself all the time...'

"At least we don't have to worry about intruders now we have a dog."

"Even more dangerous than crossing the road is being undercooked."

'Sorry, my dog says no landlords allowed!'

'Drop the can opener!'

"Have they no shame?"

Rabbits $5.

"He can't bear working on yellow teeth."

In certain parts of the world, chili-peppers have become a valuable commodity!

Don

Finance Company.

'Pasta imposter' "Oi! You're not vermicelli, you're cheese string..bugger off!!"

"You may be more familiar with her maiden name, Kelly, Grace Kelly."

"Hon, I'm worried. She's been out there somewhere for 3 hours."