Popularity Ponderers Pillows

"You can't possibly know how I feel. Everybody likes you."

The Jeopardy of Progress

A small number of people are afraid of heights, but there is an epidemic fear of widths.

"Your assumption that a one in a million chance event MUST be a miracle shows you drastically underestimate the total number of regularly occurring events."

God not-too-happy with the Humans sticking a 'Closing DOWN Sale!' sign on planet Earth

"This number goes out to all the little people I met on my way back down."

"I'm learning to live with existence."

World Production.

Ten Commandments

'As I recall you were the one who told him that he couldn't take it with him.'

The Problem with World Population Growth

'According to the latest poll, 64% of the public don't pay any attention to polls...'

'It's all due to the birthrate falling drastically...'

"Great, now we're lost."

Population train.

"The first thing we should do is get you two into a good mutual fund. Let me get out the 'Magic 8 Ball' and we'll fun some options."

'What's the chance of getting a latte around here?'

Bizarre sequence of computer-generated random numbers

'Today's Odds' sign above a copier showing various odds for machine's malfunctions

"Woah - random!"

Never mind spring. What do you predict for the economy?

Market Research - "I'm trying to remember to pick up a loaf of bread, but there's a 38% probability that I'll forget."

Aging population in Cuba

"Caution! Now entering the margin of error."

'Today, stocks dropped on poll numbers that 60% of people expected it to drop.'

"The arc of the moral universe."

'I've discovered that smart doesn't make you popular: Cool does...'

"Nobody wants to hear our stories about death from natural causes."

'The rot set in when I started doing these things in my own image - my early stuff was better.'

'You know what I really miss? -- living dangerously.'

'Have you ever thought that being damned for all eternity to a lake of eternal fire might mask a deeper problem?'

"Well...this constant badness is just sooo wearisome...."