Prediction Ponderers Pillows

Never mind spring. What do you predict for the economy?

"If you never date a prediction it can't be proved wrong."

A small number of people are afraid of heights, but there is an epidemic fear of widths.

"Your assumption that a one in a million chance event MUST be a miracle shows you drastically underestimate the total number of regularly occurring events."

"You can't possibly know how I feel. Everybody likes you."

"This number goes out to all the little people I met on my way back down."

'Doctor, I don't want to eat mouseburgers, I want to be normal like everybody else.'

"When will I be old enough to have an inner child?"

"I advised a patient to take responsibilty for his own actions, and now he is suing me!"

The Male Atom: Sex, Sport, War and Good Intentions.

Max Weber

'Congratulations, you've got the job. Unfortunately though, you'll be constantly late, and we'll fire you in two months.'

"I'll have dessert first."

"I've been studying reverse psychology at Tonga Tech Online University."

"Of course it's only prediction, we can't guarantee anything."

"It is just as the Oracle foretold!"

'I say we try it.'

"It's not just me, Dad. Amazon.com has never made a cent, either."

Telling Self to Buzz Off

"The first thing we should do is get you two into a good mutual fund. Let me get out the 'Magic 8 Ball' and we'll fun some options."

Bizarre sequence of computer-generated random numbers

'What's the chance of getting a latte around here?'

That's no big deal, a lot of people get Siskel and Ebert mixed up

Fortune teller sees impending doom

'Please don't read anything into the fact that I'm wearing loafers. I assure you I'm a very energetic worker.'

'He's always looking for an argument!'

'The hardest part of being a street crazy is picking each day's sign.'

"I see you coming into money, at least 50p for a cup of tea."

'Today's Odds' sign above a copier showing various odds for machine's malfunctions

Yeah, I woke up as a roach because I was so full of existential dread – Why did you wake up as a dung beetle?

'Well, that brings us up to my third birthday...'

What brings you to therapy, Rudy? Dr. Noodle. I've been feeling like my whole life is on pause. And I can't find the remote to unpause it. Meanwhile, everyone else's stories are proceeding apace. They're all into the second act already. They've all had plot twists, and hero's journeys, and epic love scenes, and thrilling reversals of fortune ... Meanwhile, I'm still paused on the opening credits because no remote. Why don't you get up off the couch and unpause it manually? You can do that?

I see

"Woah - random!"

'You'll be going on a long journey this Christmas.'