Prognosis Ponderer Pillows

'I'm afraid you've got thirty, maybe forty years to live.'

'I don't remember predetermining THAT!'

"Your assumption that a one in a million chance event MUST be a miracle shows you drastically underestimate the total number of regularly occurring events."

'I'm 60-40 in favor of the 60.'

“Today we are going to be learning percentages.”

"Of course it's only prediction, we can't guarantee anything."

'I say we try it.'

'I really don't know how you got here with your life line!'

"It is just as the Oracle foretold!"

'Congratulations, you've got the job. Unfortunately though, you'll be constantly late, and we'll fire you in two months.'

"I'll have dessert first."

"What's with kids nowadays? Walking upright's not good enough for you?"

'What's the chance of getting a latte around here?'

"The first thing we should do is get you two into a good mutual fund. Let me get out the 'Magic 8 Ball' and we'll fun some options."

"Sure, but what have you invented lately?"

Bizarre sequence of computer-generated random numbers

'You'll be going on a long journey this Christmas.'

"I see you coming into money, at least 50p for a cup of tea."

Bumper Limos

'The hardest part of being a street crazy is picking each day's sign.'

'He's always looking for an argument!'

'Today's Odds' sign above a copier showing various odds for machine's malfunctions

"Woah - random!"

Fortune teller sees impending doom

Thanksgiving Turkey Fortune: "Why the silence?"

"Well, for starters, Matt has been showing definite improvement in risk-taking."

'Though we must innovate, and though we must grow, we must never lose sight of our core mediocrities.'

Market Research - "I'm trying to remember to pick up a loaf of bread, but there's a 38% probability that I'll forget."

Never mind spring. What do you predict for the economy?

The End is Near.

Dorothy finds the Yellow brick road is now a 6-lane expressway.

Sun crashing into sea foils rescue attempt.

A psychic predicts the discovery of gluten.

A self-filling prophecy.

"I'll have to cance your appointment for next Friday. I'm going to be sick in bed with the flu."