Poll Ponderer Pillows

'According to the latest poll, 64% of the public don't pay any attention to polls...'

"The latest numbers are in. More voters want you to drop out than to run."

"It seems my fear of death has been replaced by my fear of politics."

"Tariffs love me...tariffs love me not..."

''...And defend the Constitution of the United States.' -- And now, I'd like to pardon the following Illinois politicians....'

"The university said he was a climate change denier so remove the statue."

"The economy always seems to be recovering, but it never recovers."

"What was I thinking?!"

G7 Summit Concern

Plan to Split California into Six States Proposed....

That party went well.

"Your assumption that a one in a million chance event MUST be a miracle shows you drastically underestimate the total number of regularly occurring events."

"What a tragedy... he still had two years of his super left..."

Roe v. Wade

'The economy being what it is, we've had to make a few changes in your retirement plan. . .'

The Lessons of VietnamThe Lessons of Iran and ContraThe Lessons of Iraq.

"You can't possibly know how I feel. Everybody likes you."

World Production.

Beginning Yarder.

"People are looking for stability in pension arrangements..."

"Apparently over 50% of people never look at their pension plans!"

Do Guns Kill?

'I'm 60-40 in favor of the 60.'

"We may have to rob from the rich AND the poor."

“Today we are going to be learning percentages.”

"Take special note of the change to our policy on honesty."

"Massive deficit spending, enormous Federal bailouts, open borders, ridiculous earmarks, pork for everybody, intervention all over the world.... Now, why didn't I think of that?"

"Still, he might be remembered as the 'no cloning' President."

"You never actually own a pension pot - you merely look after it for the next government."

Violent Crime Statistics

"I'm both too liberal to be preppy and too conservative to be trendy."

The Problem with World Population Growth

"Of course you can't put your finger on it. It's a hypothetical particle."

"Those are insightful and legitimate questions about our country, Tommy, and if times were different, your mom and I probably wouldn't have to report you to the government for asking them!"

'Social and political revolution? Check out our 'Do It Yourself' section.'