Popularity Contests Pillows

'I'm out of the loop!'

Race

"Time to prop up my ego. . ."

Due to his low center of gravity, Jake is the greatesr broncbuster ever!

Likes: $2.

'You wouldn't happen to be sitting on my entry to the straightest runner bean competition?'

Who should be the next eco-club president? The most vegan? The most carbon neutral? The most into solar? Eco-club. But we need someone who will attract kids to the environmental cause. Then it's obvious. The most popular. Or most athletic!

The First Annual Game Show Week.

'It's the same everywhere: body over brains.'

'And, for the student with the most hits on his or her Facebook page, the award goes to Lisa Skemley!'

"I'm sorry, but you didn't recognize me as the Messiah when I had braces and glasses."

'Henderson always walks away with the neighborhood pumpkin carving contest.'

"Well, I'm the company sports champion! During the lunch break I ate more hamburgers than any other colleague!"

High Five

"The Curse of the robot followers: At first, Rob was thrilled with the all the attention and followers."

'Rhea of the Year.'

'I wish I were as popular as the coffee machine.'

The return of Miss Subways

Prune Eating Contest: Last Man Standing.

'Are you the proud parents of our (drumming contest) winner?'

Just a sec – I want to see which wishes get the most likes before I decide.

'Congratulations. You're our 15th caller. The grant is yours!'

'We did it, Dad! We won the heaviest frog award!'

'I have no new Facebook friend requests today. See that I do before lunchtime.'

'Nobody likes me at school. I need a personal assistant, a trainer and a P.R. firm!'

Annual Lump Festival Competition:'I don't know if I can give an award, they're all so fantastic..'

Man reading letter, 'You may already be a winner' about to step on rake.

"You may be man's 'best friend' but I have over 2,123 likes on facebook!"

Contest time. Mort and Sadie, our ornery octogenarians, have decided to rename Rudy's generation. Mort favors Generation I - for impatient. Sadie prefers Generation V - for virtual. Or vapid! What do you think? Please send your own ideas to asksadieshow@gmail.com. C'mon people, get thinkin'!

"Sure I won the spelling bee contest, but since everyone has spell check, no one cares!"

'I'm probably not gonna get a 'Like' on my facebook account after this.'

"Those were the toughest tryouts I've ever had. Everyone has shown great improvement, but I only have one slot open. Congratulations, Gracie! You're the newest member of our academic decathlon team!"

I must say, that's the most pathetic bar promotion I've ever seen. Tuesdays! Wet Socks Contest!

'Who wants to see second prize in the sales contest?'

No soliciting - unless you're one of those sweepstakes