Popularity Pro Pillows

'Nobody likes me at school. I need a personal assistant, a trainer and a P.R. firm!'

"Don't even interact with him. He just likes to say 'Kalamazoo.'"

Likes: $2.

"I just realized you're my entire entourage."

Who should be the next eco-club president? The most vegan? The most carbon neutral? The most into solar? Eco-club. But we need someone who will attract kids to the environmental cause. Then it's obvious. The most popular. Or most athletic!

"It's about the murder of an editor who refuses to publish a writer's work..."

'And, for the student with the most hits on his or her Facebook page, the award goes to Lisa Skemley!'

"I'm sorry, but you didn't recognize me as the Messiah when I had braces and glasses."

"Please forgive us for being so late- we had parking issues."

"You're darned RIGHT it's a serious problem! Sales people, like goldfish, grow to fit their tanks! He's got to be transferred to a bigger territory, PRONTO!"

"Oh, God! I had EXACTLY the right amount to drink last night."

"The Curse of the robot followers: At first, Rob was thrilled with the all the attention and followers."

'I wish I were as popular as the coffee machine.'

'Eureka! After months of research and formulating algorithms, I've done it... I've discovered the secret to 'being cool'!'

'The Parkinson would be good PR, but should I wear the hair shirt or the sackcloth and ashes?'

'...but our most useful publication is the 'Journal of Don't-Do-It: It's-Already-Been-Done.''

"Glad I had a pretzel before leaving the house; I'd hate to drink all that on an empty stomach."

Just a sec – I want to see which wishes get the most likes before I decide.

Hair Style Menu

'I've discovered that smart doesn't make you popular: Cool does...'

'I'm not interested in what the paper is about, Dr Jones, I just want you to put me on the authors' list...'

'I have no new Facebook friend requests today. See that I do before lunchtime.'

Oh yeah, that's right. Now everyone wants to know the radiator cow.

'I just want to warn you if you buy this, you may never again know if people like you for you or your corvette.'

"You may be man's 'best friend' but I have over 2,123 likes on facebook!"

'She never learned how to dance.'

Business Cards.

'I'm probably not gonna get a 'Like' on my facebook account after this.'

"Look, Tia Carmen, my moustache is growing in!"

"Am I not being funny enough?"

'zzz... nyarrrgh... fwa... ...ack... k... na...graa...' - '' - 'I just had the worst dream...' - '' - 'Oh, b***ocks.' - ''

'Oh well, never let it be said you can't handle your booze!'

'...and that concludes the emergency procedures. Since we have a few minutes before take-off, how many of you are familiar with 'Amway'?'

Bob didn't win the race. He was just better - looking.

"Ladies and gentlemen...closing time. Or should Just say 'last call'?"