Popularity Contest Enthusiast Pillows

"Don't worry...Hernando is the kind of guy women dream about. You're the kind of guy they actually get."

Likes: $2.

"This just in: According to a recent poll, painkillers have replaced religion as the opiate of the masses."

Annual Pollsters Convention. Wow, who could've predicted such a low turnout?

'The employee who guesses closest to the correct number of beans in this jar will be awarded this year's annual pay increase! -Management, ATOZ Accountants

"The Curse of the robot followers: At first, Rob was thrilled with the all the attention and followers."

'Rhea of the Year.'

'I wish I were as popular as the coffee machine.'

Just a sec – I want to see which wishes get the most likes before I decide.

That Pesky 'Why' Chromosome.

Tug the Toggle

Dropping Popularity of Obama.

'Our poll shows the typical voter is all polled out.'

"The latest poll numbers must be out."

Hillary Clinton

'Reinventing myself.'

'I have no new Facebook friend requests today. See that I do before lunchtime.'

'The contest brought in only twenty two wrappers...'

'I just want to warn you if you buy this, you may never again know if people like you for you or your corvette.'

"I'm undecided, but that doesn't mean I'm apathetic or uninformed."

"You may be man's 'best friend' but I have over 2,123 likes on facebook!"

'I'm probably not gonna get a 'Like' on my facebook account after this.'

"Your poll results on't look good. You're trailing 'statistically insignificant'."

'So maybe it is feel-good legislation- What's wrong with feeling good?'

"If winning isn't everything, why do you break down and cry when your stocks fall?"

'In your opinion, who was the worst U.S. president since W.W.II...?'

Put us down as decidedly and definitely more positive than "maybe" but probably something not quite so strong as "perhaps."

The Apprentice

Bob didn't win the race. He was just better - looking.

"He killed in rehab."

'According to yesterday's poll, 46% of people support having rain tomorrow while 36% are against. 24% are undecided.'

"I want to 'tell it like it is' to my supporters, but what do they want to hear?"

"We've gotten the poll results. We've crunched the numbers. We've adjusted for margin of error. He's got to shoot more ducks."

Rudy, you wanna know possible names for your generation? Huh? The L-Generation for loser, the C-generation for clueless or connected, J for jerk or W for whiners. These readers suggestions all have something in common. None of them won the contest to name Rudy's generation. Not that we're taunting the non-winners. C'mon, taunt the losers!! Winner to be named any day now.

'They're terrible. All they're interested in is watching the "poles".'