Contests Pillows

'Congratulations. You're our 15th caller. The grant is yours!'

Man reading letter, 'You may already be a winner' about to step on rake.

'Hey son, I'm to look under my cap to see if I won a free soda.'

"That's right! Publishing Clearing Warehouse and the Angel of Death are here to congratulate YOU, Harry M. Beemis, for winning our 'Good News/Bad News Sweepstakes!'"

No soliciting - unless you're one of those sweepstakes

Bubble gum contest winner floating away.

'Rhea of the Year.'

"The good news is you've won a date with a sexy film star, the bad news is..."

"Let's see who can go the longest without looking at their phone. On your mark, get set, you win."

Guess the Number Of Seeds And Win A Year's Supply

'We did it, Dad! We won the heaviest frog award!'

'You're excited about winning a traveling toothbrush kit in a sweepstakes after spending $300 on postage and entering 1,500 contests?'

'1000 pies to eat before you die.'

Win $1,000 a week for life contest

'The bad news is I got caught in the rain. The good news is that I won a Wet Tee-Shirt Contest.'

'You wouldn't happen to be sitting on my entry to the straightest runner bean competition?'

Angel Wins Publisher's Clearing House

'You are the unwisest man...goodbye.'

Due to his low center of gravity, Jake is the greatesr broncbuster ever!

Brian was very proud of his dog.

'Your shoe's untied.'

The First Annual Game Show Week.

"Just one more thump. . . just one more thump."

Big Hank's shooting gallery.

'It's the same everywhere: body over brains.'

Can't Touch This

"Could you repeat that word?"

'Congratulations, you graduated.'

Pipe Smoker of the Year Awards.

Cat medal presentations take a long time

'Want to make it two out of three?'

'Henderson always walks away with the neighborhood pumpkin carving contest.'

Quiz Night...

"Well, I'm the company sports champion! During the lunch break I ate more hamburgers than any other colleague!"

The Unsportables: Relay