Poop Scooping Philosopher Pillows

"I wonder how much she gets for those."

"How do you say ‘Where is the bathroom’ in Sanskrit?"

"Somehow, they get exempted from a lot of laws."

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

"But some of my best ideas come while I'm in the litter box."

"Hydro density appartus invention? Go away - I'm not disturbing his bath for that!"

"I've been having stomach problems. I sit on the bathroom for 30 minutes in the morning...and a half-hour in the evening."

"Forget it - she's out of your league."

'This is what Jack and me have managed to create so far...all you have to do is add your poop to the top and we have a field record!'

'Wow, look at all these prescription drugs that are out of date.' FLUSH 'Happy as clams explained.'

'I take a cold shower every morning... right after my daughters have taken hot ones.'

'It's been a rough day, my shirt button fell off, the handle of my brief case came off... I'm too scared to go to the bathroom!'

Schrodinger's Cat Litter Box

Everyone has a good novel inside them.

'If they don't want me drinking out of the toilet, what's this roll of napkins for?'

"Poppy has left the dog kennel. I repeat Poppy has left the dog kennel...Yes, yes, we have a code brown!"

'I. Am. So. Embarrassed! How long have I been sitting across from him with that stuck in my teeth?'

"Do you have any idea who it is you're talking to?"

I guess Grandpa was once a wise king, too. He always says he does his best thinking on the throne.

If toilets could talk

'Ecce homo!'

Nature is not perfect

'I am not, metaphysically speaking, as loopy as you seem to believe.'

Round the Clock

Prehistoric Graffito

Life's choices (Tampons and Chocolate).

"Your desk is in here now. After all, it's where you spend most of the working day!"

Mr Meier calendar

'Bloody reincarnation therapy!'

'The newspaper reckons there's a shortage of toilet paper.' - 'What would we do without newspapers?'

"I just need a few minutes with the auto-sensor to regain my illusion of control."

'In the event you suffer from Montezuma's Revenge, there's a TV in every bathroom.'