Poop Patrol Captain Gifts

'Urgh!. . . That's disgusting.'

"Cheers mate, you've done me a solid."

"I've been calling, but he's not picking up."

"What kind of 'best friend' expects you to pick up their sh*t?"

Factory chimney coming from top of globe.

'My diet allows me only one muffin a day!'

Polar bear on a mountain of plastic

"Oh, I listen to my body at meal time, but the messages aren't clear because its mouth is full!"

"Poppy has left the dog kennel. I repeat Poppy has left the dog kennel...Yes, yes, we have a code brown!"

I spy with my little eye in the sky …

"No, I said 'sit'."

Pooper scoppers.

"The sniffer dog had found cocaine again."

A man walks with a dog who has learnt to scoop his own poop.

'Here's my business card.'

'Yes, I got it all.'

Human Cull: People who don't care where their cigarette butts end up.

'Growing a beard?' - 'Yes, not so much face to wash.'

'You talk about a clean dog!'

"He got kicked out of the park for being a litter bug."

It's a dreadful affair, Watson. Flagrant failure to use the poopy bins.

Hey, don't just throw that on the ground! What were you raised by people?

Over the years, Sid had refined travel on the path of least resistance to a fine art.

'Look out - a snooper from Environmental Health.'

Ocean Plastic

Walkies again?

Dumping waste into a toilet.

'As far as our environmental policy goes, if we destroy it we don't have to worry about it anymore!'

'My dog's classically trained.'

'We got rid of one of our cars, and we hardly ever use the other five ...'

Poo Bags

"Here, clean up after yourself."

"Oh, for goodness sake! I'll change the baby's nappy!"

Poopa-Scoopa

Sewage in Rivers Report