Poop Avoider Gifts

Tred carefully mill.

A tube of toothpaste doesn't reach its full potential until in the hands of a baby.

College kid rakes up his clothes on the floor in messy dorm room

Cat mistakes bars for toilets.

"Mummy said dinner was brussels sprouts tonight. What about we drop by the park and see if the old man sitting on the bench can feed us instead?"

Mime walking dog passes some invisible dog poop.

"I can skip my bath. On the way home I jumped in all the puddles."

Pets are not only good companions, they're good excuses.

'I want to go out of town so that I can become a fully independent person, but near enough so that I can bring my laundry home.'

The life-changing magic of shoving everything into a huge Hefty bag and leaving it for somebody else to deal with.

'As a bachelor I have to wash my own clothes, clean my own room. The do it all again three months later.'

Wow, look what you've stepped in: Boy I'm glad I'm not the one having to lick it off...

"I still haven't cleaned up from the party."

"And that's why we don't have nice things."

There's leftover apple crisp! Whoever finishes it up, please clean the baking dish. Hey! It's not finished!!

Oil man gets oil for his car directly from oil well.

'He always breaks away from the Church on Sunday mornings.'

'Been coming here for years and never bumped into anyone who knows me . . . weird!'

I don't get it. You can make a goal from one end of the field to the other, but you can't hit the laundry basket six inches away.

"Nothing personal. It's just business."

'IN my fantasy league, we're not allowed to pick players from teams named after cats.'

"I deal with yours...you deal with mine."

"She looks slow—but watch how fast she moves when I put this disgusting thing in my mouth."

The pair of socks waited confidently in the corner, secure in the knowledge that no matter what happens, no one ever suspects the socks.

'That's the plan then, gang. We all move in with Bruno on bath nights!'

"She's looking for just the right place to poopie."

"Yes, I'm a dog person. How did you know?"

'The sad thing is, Jonah's so afraid of the water now, he won't even take a bath.'

'You want a plastic bag, for one tin of peas? Why don't you use your hands to carry it home? After all, they are reusable and friendlier to the environment.'

"You're in my laundry's favorite seat."

Colin would go to any lengths to avoid cleaning up after his dog.

"Me, I'm not nocturnal by nature, but by choice: I try to avoid human-contact as much as I can..."

"I can't go on, old man - it's my damned hay fever again..."

'Not only must she love dogs, but she must hate cats.'

'Look on the bright side, we're surrounded by water: We're safe from cats...'