Water Avoider Gifts

'The sad thing is, Jonah's so afraid of the water now, he won't even take a bath.'

'I couldn't stand the heat, so I got out of the kitchen.'

Don't forget the hosepipe ban!

"I'm afraid our drinking water isn't pure."

Cat mistakes bars for toilets.

"Mummy said dinner was brussels sprouts tonight. What about we drop by the park and see if the old man sitting on the bench can feed us instead?"

"I can skip my bath. On the way home I jumped in all the puddles."

"I prefer the mountains to the beach. I feel like less of a cow.''

'I want to go out of town so that I can become a fully independent person, but near enough so that I can bring my laundry home.'

'Wow... What did you use for bait?'

Any requests for songs that aren't about fish? Jazz Butcher.

'I'm just draining the reservoir.'

Wow, look what you've stepped in: Boy I'm glad I'm not the one having to lick it off...

'As a bachelor I have to wash my own clothes, clean my own room. The do it all again three months later.'

A frog makes his own pond from tears.

How to deal with weeds

Tred carefully mill.

"Raw sewage is so much easier to source these days."

Oil man gets oil for his car directly from oil well.

There's leftover apple crisp! Whoever finishes it up, please clean the baking dish. Hey! It's not finished!!

The Plant Place - Drought special!

"We have to face reality. Unless we invite people over, we will never muster the energy to clean the place."

Beach Burger - without sand 75 cents extra.

'Keep your money - fix the water.'

We need a new project right now!!! What's the rush? Eco Club. The ice caps are melting, gas drilling is poisoning our water. It's an emergency! Plus

'Been coming here for years and never bumped into anyone who knows me . . . weird!'

"I'm just going to stay in the car until all the bees die off."

I don't get it. You can make a goal from one end of the field to the other, but you can't hit the laundry basket six inches away.

Lawyers don't go to the beach, because cats try to bury them.

'Why can't you do that while I'm on the golf course?'

The World wasting water.

'Give me a whisky without ice, we should all do our bit.'

'Joe doesn't like the sun... he prefers the shade!'

Indoor sauna.

"Looking for gold?"