Aquatic Theme Avoider Gifts

These species are only living off the coast of Southern California!

Cat mistakes bars for toilets.

Civilized Salmon

"You may be in love, but can you support my daughter on what a herring makes?"

"Mummy said dinner was brussels sprouts tonight. What about we drop by the park and see if the old man sitting on the bench can feed us instead?"

"I've always wanted to live on a lake so I can go boating and fishing. Since we don't live on a lake, I thought I'd make my own."

"I can skip my bath. On the way home I jumped in all the puddles."

"But honey. . . he's just not our kind!"

"I prefer the mountains to the beach. I feel like less of a cow.''

'I want to go out of town so that I can become a fully independent person, but near enough so that I can bring my laundry home.'

"Here he comes! Don't move."

Wow, look what you've stepped in: Boy I'm glad I'm not the one having to lick it off...

'As a bachelor I have to wash my own clothes, clean my own room. The do it all again three months later.'

"And that's why we don't have nice things."

'Turbidity is pretty high today, better keep the kids inside...'

'Where's your goldfish?'

"We have to face reality. Unless we invite people over, we will never muster the energy to clean the place."

Swordfishes Playing 'Pin the Tail on the Donkey'

Women look out at overgrown garden as man reads sports section. Wife says: 'He reckons he can't mow it as he's turned it into a wildlife reserve.'

A patient's heart monitor reveals he is thinking about fish.

Lawyers don't go to the beach, because cats try to bury them.

Ollie the Uncreative Octopus

I hate jacuzzi day.

'IN my fantasy league, we're not allowed to pick players from teams named after cats.'

"I'm just going to stay in the car until all the bees die off."

I don't get it. You can make a goal from one end of the field to the other, but you can't hit the laundry basket six inches away.

'Nature makes me nervous!'

'Eat or be eaten, there must be a better way...'

"We can't stay. Charles freaks out without some electronic device beeping or blinking at him."

"I heard Dad say we were having fish for dinner, so I thought I'd come in and check on you guys."

Too posh to wash...

The pair of socks waited confidently in the corner, secure in the knowledge that no matter what happens, no one ever suspects the socks.

'Why is there so much chlorine in this water?'

'Uh-oh.'