Poolside Relaxation Gifts

"I only need shade for my wine."

Hollywood Breakup

On holiday.

Bring your own inflatable.

Sunbathers.

"Shake! Good Dog."

"I’ve got to take this. It’s someone who isn’t obsessed with summer fun."

Lounging by the pool

Segregated Beach

The real reason why flamingos are pink

'One more hangover like this and I'm going to have to claim for sickness during holiday absence.'

"How's it look back there?"

'Sounded more like a seagull to me.'

"I said, 'I'm not on duty! I just came back to get my flip-flops.'"

"Can we get a bigger pool to accommodate all my floats?"

Bankside

"Listen, pal, they're all emergencies."

"Should we take pics of our feed for Instagram?"

'I prefer to do absolutely nothing on holiday....otherwise the shock's too much when I get back.'

"My feet are cold."

"One day he went for a swim in our infinity pool, and I haven't seen him since."

A gondolier clears leaves form a pool

"Don't you worry JB, everything is fine here."

'Some two-year-old is marking the pool for himself.'

"I see Mom won't let you go to the lake again."

"Standing on one leg is easier than on two, but this far more relaxing."

Yep, you get to a certain age and you just want to fly south for the winter.

At this time I'd like to thank the man or woman who invented the parasol. Without it, an indoor rain shower might dilute this Mai Tai, hindering my ability to get my full Don Ho groove on.

"I moved to the coast to get away from the Inland Revenue..."

One isn't snubbing One's wedding, One is merely celebrating One's wedding by topping up One's tan.

Semi-naked A stripped Semi-trailer Truck sunbathing by the pool naked

L.A. Law

'Looks like we can stay another week after all.'

'Can't you tell people about our new swimming pool without saying I've 'gone off the deep end?''

'Just did a couple of laps around the pool.'