Pooch Chauffeur Gifts

Car Dog-Doors.

"I don't feel like going on a walk today, so I got me an Uber to take me around the block. You need the exercise, so you can walk beside the car."

'I know he doesn't like this house, but he'll just have to get used to it.'

'He rides in the car with his head out the window a lot.'

'Guess who just graduated cum laude from Sunnydale Obedience School?'

Dog fetching clown shoes.

Litterary Dogs.

"No you, he called you a lap dog."

'Sure, I could be independent, but it's so much nicer to allow myself to be spoiled rotten by Mistress...'

Dog wearing a cone around his waist: 'Hemorrhoids.'

People with pet dogs in a dog park with workout equipment for dogs.

Good Dog!

"We should probably stop calling each other 'Fluffy's person' and 'Fifi's person' and learn each other's real names - now that we're married I mean."

Pets on holiday.

"I think that I shall never see a tree on which I wouldn't pee."

"I think you better let me drive, I haven't renewed your license yet."

'And this bone, would you say he wanted to pick it for quite some time?'

'I'm looking for an eight minute mile pace. Ready, and ...'

"Funny how he always goes in the same spot."

"I have no skills. . . only tricks."

Blue-nosed pointer: 'Naughty, naughty!'

'Ever noticed how people resemble their pets?'

"A riding we will go, Both me and my hound, Both safe and sound, A riding we will go!"

My other dog is a Great Dane.

"... and bless the UPS driver, who endures my instinctive barks, growls, yelps and yips."

"Have you gone mad?! Get your head in the car!"

"I can't find his dog whistle anywhere."

When groomers go bad.

"First let me give you my conspectus."

"My mistress doesn't care if I drink out of the toilet as long as I put the toilet seat up."

"Why don't you stick your head out the window like other dogs?"

'Let's do a deal - I won't drag you past any more lamp-posts...'

'It's nothing personal...It's just business.'