Pooch Punster Gifts

'It's nothing personal...It's just business.'

Litterary Dogs.

Contrary to popular belief, the road to Hell is paved with a comprehensive, lifetime tax return.

"I'm new here. How much do we leave for a tip?"

Dog fetching clown shoes.

Dogs life

'Iguana know what time it is.'

Pet Cemetery.

Dog Walker

"Only 150 kids? - Have you considered fertility treatment?"

Should I bark? Flow chart for dogs

"Damn! Someone just asked for chicken drumsticks."

'This is taking too long - we'll have to induce hatching.'

Dog wearing a cone around his waist: 'Hemorrhoids.'

Chicken Funeral Planning.

"Actually, There's a lot less pressure since I've gone from his best friend to his therapy dog."

Public toiletsbathrooms for dogs using fire hydrants in cubicals.

"Hallelujah!"

"Mum, what is a nugget?"

'Don't worry, I would never tell the other free range chickens you're agoraphobic.'

"Cooky was askin' about you again."

Licker Store

The Poodle and The Twooudle.

"Is that one of those brandy dogs?"

'Ah look, what a lovely tortoise shell cat.'

"I think that I shall never see a tree on which I wouldn't pee."

"The body is eighty-two-per-cent broth."

'Nice try, Billy, but dogma is not a puppy's mother!'

'I'm looking for an eight minute mile pace. Ready, and ...'

'And stop making that stupid clucking sound'

Brenda lost not only the egg toss, but something much, much more.

'Well Mrs. Henson, form the looks of this place, egg stacking, children claw marks, chicken blood graffiti, egg splat everywhere, I'd have to say this is the work of a poultry geist!'

'We don't have pressed duck, but we could shove around a chicken for you.'

'Shakin' bacon.'

His Other Shtick