Pooch Punster Gifts

'It's nothing personal...It's just business.'

Litterary Dogs.

Contrary to popular belief, the road to Hell is paved with a comprehensive, lifetime tax return.

"I'm new here. How much do we leave for a tip?"

'Iguana know what time it is.'

Dog fetching clown shoes.

Dogs life

Dog Walker

"Only 150 kids? - Have you considered fertility treatment?"

Should I bark? Flow chart for dogs

"Damn! Someone just asked for chicken drumsticks."

'This is taking too long - we'll have to induce hatching.'

"Hallelujah!"

Chicken Funeral Planning.

"Actually, There's a lot less pressure since I've gone from his best friend to his therapy dog."

"Mum, what is a nugget?"

Public toiletsbathrooms for dogs using fire hydrants in cubicals.

"Cooky was askin' about you again."

"Is that one of those brandy dogs?"

'Ah look, what a lovely tortoise shell cat.'

The Poodle and The Twooudle.

"I think that I shall never see a tree on which I wouldn't pee."

"The body is eighty-two-per-cent broth."

'Nice try, Billy, but dogma is not a puppy's mother!'

'I'm looking for an eight minute mile pace. Ready, and ...'

His Other Shtick

'We don't have pressed duck, but we could shove around a chicken for you.'

'That's Princess... formerly 'Prince'.'

'Well Mrs. Henson, form the looks of this place, egg stacking, children claw marks, chicken blood graffiti, egg splat everywhere, I'd have to say this is the work of a poultry geist!'

Brenda lost not only the egg toss, but something much, much more.

'And stop making that stupid clucking sound'

'Shakin' bacon.'

"Be honest Walter...Is it me you really love or just the farm-fresh eggs every morning?"