Ponderer Of The Universe Gifts

'All this knowledge going into my head, through my eyes and out the window to float forever in space.'

"Ig a skyscraper collapses in the cit and I don't hear it...will we care?"

"If a stock falls in the market, and it had no investors, does it really lose its value?"

'Houston, I'm prepared to land...'

'But what is the universe for?'

God Sneezes Out Creation

"The following program was made possible by fluctuations in the random chaos of the Universe...."

'You forgot to pay the gravity bill, didn't you?'

"Hey! If you're here to marvel at the smallness of your existence within a glorious, vast and unknowable universe, there's a line!"

"Talking to your own reflection? Even your imagination is pathetic."

"What's your favorite planet, Randy?" "There is only one answer, little buddy. There is only one planet full of lush, green forests and beautiful, windswept ocean vista... all of which are natural aphrodisiacs that inspire lovers, philosophers and poets." "You know, Pandora is not a real planet." "I'm talking about Earth, you... Do you ever go outside?"

The Origins of Everything

"Could you tilt the Earth just a bit more away from the light?"

"And on the twelfth day the Lord just puttered around... Did I put that cloud there? Looks out of place. Did I do that? Oh, well..."

"It's scary that humans are our benchmark for intelligent life in the universe."

NASA, 'I thought I smelled oxygen!'

"Ever wondered about the development of mankind if, just before the big bang, a voice said 'Oops!'"

"If the universe is expanding, that's all the more reason to get back to the city."

"Shall we put it in play?"

"OK, now what's the meaning of the other eight?"

The pop-culture critic's annual existential crisis."

Astronaut stumbles upon a weird space anomaly.

Doubt or Certainy

'Just one God? - But won't he be outnumbered?'

'Remember when the authorities were notified when we were spotted? Now nobody cares. They think we're drones.'

"Apparently, over two-thirds of the Earth's surface is covered with water!"

'Let me know when they figure out that it isn't flat.'

"Anyway, it turned out that god was a ruddy algorithm after all!"

'Who was there to hear the Big Bang?'

'Harnessing the Black Hole.'

Of course I believe your 'Alien Abduction' story...

"This just in; the Sun has exploded. Further developments in eight minutes."

"If the universe is expanding by 3 trillion cubic light years per second, why can't I find an apartment?"