Ponderer Of The Universe Gifts

'All this knowledge going into my head, through my eyes and out the window to float forever in space.'

"Ig a skyscraper collapses in the cit and I don't hear it...will we care?"

"My existence is a gray area."

"If a stock falls in the market, and it had no investors, does it really lose its value?"

'Houston, I'm prepared to land...'

'But what is the universe for?'

"The following program was made possible by fluctuations in the random chaos of the Universe...."

God Sneezes Out Creation

'You forgot to pay the gravity bill, didn't you?'

Science Museum. Why are you skeptical about the things scientists say? Because they claim the universe is expanding but when I visited my childhood hometown, everything was smaller.

"Talking to your own reflection? Even your imagination is pathetic."

"Hey! If you're here to marvel at the smallness of your existence within a glorious, vast and unknowable universe, there's a line!"

The Origins of Everything

"What's your favorite planet, Randy?" "There is only one answer, little buddy. There is only one planet full of lush, green forests and beautiful, windswept ocean vista... all of which are natural aphrodisiacs that inspire lovers, philosophers and poets." "You know, Pandora is not a real planet." "I'm talking about Earth, you... Do you ever go outside?"

"And on the twelfth day the Lord just puttered around... Did I put that cloud there? Looks out of place. Did I do that? Oh, well..."

Do you ever wish you lived in a different era, Randy? It's safer to keep me where I am. Injecting my advanced virility into more primitive eras could have disastrous effects on the timeline. Well

"Could you tilt the Earth just a bit more away from the light?"

NASA, 'I thought I smelled oxygen!'

"I've been supporting life for billions of years! You'd think they'd be supporting themselves by now!"

"Ever wondered about the development of mankind if, just before the big bang, a voice said 'Oops!'"

"It's scary that humans are our benchmark for intelligent life in the universe."

Fish crawls from the primordial soup.

"If the universe is expanding, that's all the more reason to get back to the city."

"Shall we put it in play?"

Astronaut stumbles upon a weird space anomaly.

The pop-culture critic's annual existential crisis."

"OK, now what's the meaning of the other eight?"

Doubt or Certainy

'Just one God? - But won't he be outnumbered?'

'Remember when the authorities were notified when we were spotted? Now nobody cares. They think we're drones.'

'Harnessing the Black Hole.'

Planetary Science. What do we call the study of gas giants in space? Gastronomy.

"If the universe is expanding by 3 trillion cubic light years per second, why can't I find an apartment?"

'Let me know when they figure out that it isn't flat.'

Of course I believe your 'Alien Abduction' story...