Pond Punster Gifts

'Your Bill is crooked.'

Dogs life

Kick Me! (sign on an anthropomorphized soccer ball)

'I'm going to try that 'vegan' thing, Joe -- give me some beer nuts.'

"Igor, you fool! I said 'healthy brain'!"

Sick Rancher Humor

'Is the water cold?'

"Damn! Someone just asked for chicken drumsticks."

'This is taking too long - we'll have to induce hatching.'

"No, I'm not a hare, I just happen to have big ears..."

"I do lover a good prawn film!"

Chicken Funeral Planning.

"Oh, the usual - spreading pestilence and misery. You?"

"You are hereby sentenced to one year of swimming with the people."

"Hallelujah!"

"Mum, what is a nugget?"

"I call it decking - it will be all the rage in a few years."

Hands off my IP

'I'll have a Martini, Jack. Extra dry.'

...Isolated clumps of strange matter pop briefly out of the quantum foam to debate the possible existence of particle physicists.

'Don't worry, I would never tell the other free range chickens you're agoraphobic.'

"Cooky was askin' about you again."

"The body is eighty-two-per-cent broth."

'If you want to improve your golf score, the best wood to use is a pencil with an eraser.'

'My mom says an apple a day keeps the physician's assistant away.'

Fisherman catches swimmer.

'And stop making that stupid clucking sound'

'Not too serious just a couple of particles collided.'

Brenda lost not only the egg toss, but something much, much more.

'Well Mrs. Henson, form the looks of this place, egg stacking, children claw marks, chicken blood graffiti, egg splat everywhere, I'd have to say this is the work of a poultry geist!'

'We don't have pressed duck, but we could shove around a chicken for you.'

'Hey, Lady, this is a sixty zone!'

"Photons have mass, but their rest mass is zero."

Shark in the swimming pool.

Surfin' the web.