Pond Punster Gifts

'Your Bill is crooked.'

Dogs life

Kick Me! (sign on an anthropomorphized soccer ball)

'I'm going to try that 'vegan' thing, Joe -- give me some beer nuts.'

"Igor, you fool! I said 'healthy brain'!"

Sick Rancher Humor

'Is the water cold?'

"Damn! Someone just asked for chicken drumsticks."

'This is taking too long - we'll have to induce hatching.'

"You are hereby sentenced to one year of swimming with the people."

"No, I'm not a hare, I just happen to have big ears..."

"Mum, what is a nugget?"

"I do lover a good prawn film!"

"Hallelujah!"

Chicken Funeral Planning.

"Oh, the usual - spreading pestilence and misery. You?"

"I call it decking - it will be all the rage in a few years."

"Cooky was askin' about you again."

...Isolated clumps of strange matter pop briefly out of the quantum foam to debate the possible existence of particle physicists.

Hands off my IP

'I'll have a Martini, Jack. Extra dry.'

"The body is eighty-two-per-cent broth."

'If you want to improve your golf score, the best wood to use is a pencil with an eraser.'

'My mom says an apple a day keeps the physician's assistant away.'

Fisherman catches swimmer.

'Not too serious just a couple of particles collided.'

'Hey, Lady, this is a sixty zone!'

'We don't have pressed duck, but we could shove around a chicken for you.'

Shark in the swimming pool.

'And stop making that stupid clucking sound'

Brenda lost not only the egg toss, but something much, much more.

'Well Mrs. Henson, form the looks of this place, egg stacking, children claw marks, chicken blood graffiti, egg splat everywhere, I'd have to say this is the work of a poultry geist!'

"Photons have mass, but their rest mass is zero."

Surfin' the web.

"Be honest Walter...Is it me you really love or just the farm-fresh eggs every morning?"