Pollution Control Expert Gifts

'I wish everyone was environmentally responsible like we are, and stored some industrial toxic waste at home. Then there would be less dumping of waste in waterways and therefore less water pollution.'

Deforestation.

The Environmentalist

Polluted geese

'Have you done something to your air? You look different?'

"The Nominees"

"No word from the company – but, it's clear that this is a major spill."

'Since hooking our generators up to your exercise machines, we've cut our fuel consumption by 25.'

Using public relations to change perspective about the oil spill in the Gulf...

'But we spend all our money creating toxic waste. We were hoping someone else would figure out how to detoxify it.'

"Well, our toxic wastes are ten times more harmful thinner hazardous wastes."

"Three big corks? That's it?"

OH NO - Here come the wet-wipes..!!!

Lessons from the fossil record: Discarded consumer goods in the anthropocene layer in the rock strata.

Factory chimney coming from top of globe.

'A toxic waste dump? Great idea! I've been wondering how to spruce up the swamp.'

UK sewage dumps

Clean air.

Sinking Oil Tanker

"What a coincidence, this letter complaining about our paper mill polluting the river is written on notepaper printed there...."

'What we have to do is utilize some pollution control equipment in our manufacturing of pollution control equipment.'

"Raw sewage is so much easier to source these days."

"Just don't swallow any. What we're wallowing in is Hi- Density-Syntha-Soil Fabricated mud."

Grim Reaper walks through an urban environment wearing a gas mask.

You should all get along beautifully. Fred handles toxic wastes, Doris works at a nuclear reactor, and Walter just isn't taking any chances.

Be prepared to issue a public whoopsie.

'I tell you, since we bought this hybrid, I really feel we're doing our part for the environment!'

"Good Evening. . . would you like to hear about our 'America has too many regulations' specials . . . ?"

'They are worried about the economy.'

'These guys are going to take us kicking and screaming to hell with them!'

'I'm from China!'

'To think we used to complain about a little flotsam and jetsam.'

The Human Stain.

"So that's where it goes! well, I'd like to thank you fellows for bringing this to my attention."

Tetanus Jab