Pollution Analyst Gifts

Chemoco International

"I know this is a survey on recycled sewage... but is "Piss poor" good or bad?"

'We're here to carbon date your company's carbon footprint.'

Polluted geese

Chaos Theory - a butterfly flaps its wings...

"Isn't it great to get out of the kitchen and cook in the fresh air!"

"I solve mathematical problems, program electronic music, analyze environmental issues...but being a renaissance man isn't what it used to be."

"We'll analyze the only thing left to analyze: what people throw away."

"No word from the company – but, it's clear that this is a major spill."

Using public relations to change perspective about the oil spill in the Gulf...

Welsh water sewage

"I can remember when water was just wet."

"Well, our toxic wastes are ten times more harmful thinner hazardous wastes."

Lessons from the fossil record: Discarded consumer goods in the anthropocene layer in the rock strata.

Factory chimney coming from top of globe.

Gang Green

"Is it always so cloudy?"

Coal Liquefaction Plant...Liquefied Coal Gasification Plant

"What a coincidence, this letter complaining about our paper mill polluting the river is written on notepaper printed there...."

"Raw sewage is so much easier to source these days."

'What we have to do is utilize some pollution control equipment in our manufacturing of pollution control equipment.'

'Yes Sarge - looks like another carbon footprint'

"Your DNA test came back – you're 49% from the Amazon, 49% from the Caribbean, and 2% from some plastics plant in Texas."

'I tell you, since we bought this hybrid, I really feel we're doing our part for the environment!'

'Today everyone has to know 'What's in the food?', 'What's in the water?', 'What's in the air?' This is truly the golden age of analytical chemistry.'

Oilcoa Welcome Shareholders

"Good Evening. . . would you like to hear about our 'America has too many regulations' specials . . . ?"

'I'm from China!'

'Three big corks? That's it?' (Environmental Improvement).

History of Gasoline.

"Doc! The particulate matter readings are spiking!"

'To think we used to complain about a little flotsam and jetsam.'

Nuclear Power Station

'What we need now is a weapon that takes out nuke facilities and weapons of mass destruction, but that doesn't pollute the environment.'

Rush Linbaugh - Radio Commentator.