Pollen Police Gifts

Please buzz off. That's my flower!

Just Stop Boil

'What do you mean I don't take time to smell the flowers?'

"Well, it might not work but at least it smells bad."

Cow Pollen

Ofwat Sewage Scrutiny

"Is it just me, or is the pollen particularly bad this year?"

Employee of the month...

"Environmental Protection Agency. Scott Pruitt, Administrator."

'I knew the day would come when we'd regret moving next door to a genetic research facility.'

Dream Advertisements.

"The good news is you only have an allergy. The bad news is you're allergic to pollen."

"No, I said 'sit'."

"Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, pollen to pollen, mold to mold..." "He was allergic to everything."

'Hell for Bees.'

"Here's Pollen!"

Allergy Clinic: Summertime and the Breathing is Wheezy.

"Working late, my foot! You reek of pollen!"

"Didn't you know? We just drive around. This is a mobile waste dump."

'That's the worst hay fever I've ever seen.'

'You talk about a clean dog!'

It's a dreadful affair, Watson. Flagrant failure to use the poopy bins.

"How were the first few sips?"

'You surely don't expect me to do housework, with the pollen count as high as it is?'

'Have we been dumping chemicals in the swamp?'

'Look out - a snooper from Environmental Health.'

Poopa-Scoopa

"Here, clean up after yourself."

"Oh, for goodness sake! I'll change the baby's nappy!"

Sniff

I've had allergies all my life. How about you, Randy? Never, little buddy. HOJ. A speck of pollen once tried to enter my left nostril but was swiftly humbled by my natural defenses. I come from a long line of Randies who were gifted with nose hairs that have the tensile strength of iron and the stopping-power of barbed wire. Word quickly spread from pollen to pollen, and now they never even dare. If Obamacare covers nose-hair transplants, would you be willing ... ?

If his animals should stray - let him know by all means...but don't be vindictive.

'We got rid of one of our cars, and we hardly ever use the other five ...'

'Sure, that's stopping the current chemical release, but what about the other 31 million unregulated chemicals out there?'

"Al's either catching a cold or practicing for spring allergies."