Politics And Puns Fan Pillows

'Instead of the usual boring campaign speech, folks, I'm going to make some balloon animals!'

Sen. Krupt. I don't tell constituents that we're fueling inflation. I say we're protecting consumers and thanks to us they won't have to worry about buying any cheap stuff.

"What do you mean blood sucking pest? You're the one who invited me into your life!"

'Henry was an undecided voter four years ago when he entered that voting booth, and I'm still waiting for him to decide and come home.'

Carpool lane (a car driving into a long pool).

Ghost Scare-apy Sessions

"Don't worry, Emily. . . I'm woke and you're woke, so I'm sure our baby will turn out woke!"

"I beg your pardon," said Alice, "but which of you is the Democrat?"

"And another thing, it's real cool in the summer!"

US recommendation for Middle East peacemaking.

News remote

Rattache

Cake News: Britain Desserts EU

He's got a long painful road to recovery. Those are pretty severe burns. In the meantime, try to keep him upbeat to avoid depression. Then again, we can't exactly have him walking on sunshine either... That's what got him here.

"We're not a school. We're a political action committee!"

'Yes, he plans to accept his party's nomination but first I have to accept his apology.'

Tony Blair in the morning and George Bush in the afternoon. Lulu and Stan were having a good day.

How are my Lies, Distortions, Mud-Slinging? 1-800 Politics.

Weather forecast

The Evolution of Trumpcare

Fresh Blood In Politics

"Threatened the prosperity of the free world lately?"

'Very good, but not quite 'presidential vision'.'

'I know you're tired of hearing the same old political cliches, but I believe in recycling.'

"Like many in your field, you will end up in Congress."

That's not what they mean when they say that Dick Cheney knows where all the bones are buried.

Four More More Years

'The nation is evenly divided again...the red states, Atkins Diet...the blue states, South Beach.'

Greek Crisis

"We're looking for a solution to Brexit. If Mrs Mggins doesn't come up with anything we have Harold sacrificing a goat to Woden next door."

Bureaucrats Resting On Hercules Soldier.

"Oh, that's right next year is an election year..."

"A lot of voter's will be floating today."

'He was a lifelong knee-jerk liberal until he got knee replacement surgery.'

Biden Wins